I don't know what I've been told! Singing Birthdays everynight GETS VERY OLD!

Are we going there? yea we are, I have never met Waitstaff in this business that enjoyed doing a Birthday ever? First of all we are not SINGERS for most of us that smoke and drink heavy and indulge in narcotics legal and illegal before work at work and after work to make it threw the day or night. It is better to avoid singing at all costs unless it is drinking songs then of course everyone is in tune. Birthdays really put us painfully behind when we have other tables riding. Here are some examples just to name a few, Food is up in the window the cooks are screaming for you and threatening no re-fires. Your sat a new down the Hostess shrugs her shoulders and walks off and says "They wanted to sit there and their in a hurry they have a plane to catch I gave them to you because the other servers yell at me and you don't"( Do I look like the Fluffy Fairy Godmother and I can make that happen?) CRIPS? oh and you haven't been the the restroom yourself in about five hours your kidneys are screaming with a backach and your teeth are flooding and it's hard to walk and talk.......weeds ah yes the weeds....a slammed station in a matter of minutes......

One of your tables is waiting to pay growing green moss on them because they've been waiting for you for so long and still do not have a check. Another table needs refills and every time you walk by you hear a slurping of a straw its a musical sound that Carry's in the Restaurant like a out of tune instrument a horrible vibration going down a servers spine letting everyone know your incompetence and who has that table? They need refills? In your mind your thinking in a minute I CAN hear you Simmahdown NAH Simmah, I have two hands. Your ringing in orders and appetizers again for your Hungry Hungry Hippo table that can't seem to get full! Your other guest gets up finds you and starts pulling on your shirt while your at the computer someone at there table has a Birthday and they want to know if you do anything for it? and I say "oh Happy Birthday" They laugh yea but do you have Birthday Cakes? UMM that would be a big NO! last time I checked we didn't have a Bakery on property, err I smile yes Sir I can make it happen no problem.
hmm I'm thinken oh it's yer Mother's Birthday? and it did not occur to YOU to buy a cake and bring it in for your own Mother? WOW! yer a piece of Artwork! a real friggen PICASSO! He walks off..... I click my no slip Ruby Red nasty crusty fowl Restaurant glitter slipper heels three times and say Auntie Em theres no place like home..... Auntie Em's Response back to me( My inner sweet girl I am) in my head in a Munchkin land voice back to me SINGING You can do it! You can do it! Fa La La La La .......... ahuh sure........ What the FROSTED FLAKES EVER??? be gone Munchkin land voice in my head! I am about to go down people!!! I am on the ACDC Hwy to Hell!!This will be a REAL miracle if I can pull this off tonight without out a meltdown in my section and everyone is outta control with there gimmie gimmie gimmie moores.........and keep a steady flow of decent tips coming in!!! I YELL IN THE STATION!!! I NEED BIRTHDAY SINGERS!!!!!



This Restaurant was very busy and notorious for Birthday's I never got that memo that I would need to sing. Every night of course is a chain reaction with guests if you yell Happy Birthday at one table it had a domino affect it was the wave and every server had a Birthday in their section and quickly you became on the hit list with co-workers and you were abandoned by some and rejected as a leper as if you were up selling Birthday cakes but then there is pressure and Karma and Paranoid servers if they didn't help you they would most likely have FOUR Birthdays in there section Ive seen it too, I'm not kidding....... The excuses for Birthdays was RE-DICKcueliss. I kept score one night it was like Twenty Krazy Birthdays we lost our voices that night we could not yell sing or talk at our tables! Next day everyone brought in a Full Arsenal of Drug Store cough drops and throat sprays you want we had it you need it we got it. I still believe this Restaurant was built on some type of burial ground with everything that I experienced in it! Right out of the movie Jumanji, if fact I hear the drums beat lol.......sort of a Tribal thunder drum beat........lol


Being the prankster server I am and the addiction to laugh to break up the pressure at work in having to be in the zone so much of the time I took opportunity's to play at work. If I saw a Birthday cake that a server had sitting there with a candle in it but waiting for their guests to finish eating. I would help myself indulging and satisfy my sweet tooth craving and take a bite out of it and it caught on with other servers they would walk by and say heyyyy who's cake? heh heh heh I dunno and two bites heh hard to chew fast before the server whos cake it belong too came threw the station you had to bite it chew and swallow fast! It was really annoying to go and get another cake and candle while their looking around aw man who bit into my CAKE??? A long list of colorful words non stop loud profanity and purdy graffic in detail lol I had to leave I could never do it with a straight face I bust up wayyy to easy, We had a Newbie one night I think we bit like eight pieces of cake newbie ended up walking around with the cake on her cocktail tray so no one would bite into it servers with sharks fins roaming around waiting for her to set that tray down Jaws music and all ROFLMAO........

I see them out of my puriffs looking for me waiting in front of the station grinning shaking their head pointing their two fingers in their eyes and then pointing them back at me! as if to say "I got choo I know it was you" I look up and smile while I'm a table taking and order smiling back as if to say Mmwah? Me? as I point to my chest? I come back in the station arms full of plates as the victim server standing there follows me around "lemmie me smell your breath I know it was you! You ate my cake open yer mouth?" Payback time! I had my fair share of it right back at me. lol
So not only was it ruff to follow threw with celebrating your guests Birthday and finding the time and having to deal with guests glares! Did you forget? Now is a good time! as they wink and clear their throats. A server game is played, CakeBate! eh it broke up tension at work and in this Restaurant we needed to laugh and keep moving server games keep a server sane. I am tons of fun when I serve. I can not control guests and how they behave in Restaurants but I can control how I react and I choose laughter and there is never enough of it not on my watch..........

Bob Seger The Legend sang in his song Traveling Man "And those are the Memories that make me a Wealthy Soul"

Yours Truly

Waitstress

A walk-out that did not work out! Nice try thou E FOR EFFORT!

I go into work another day in the trenches in this particular Restaurant I just happen to be working in a lot of games. Games with co -workers, games with the public you name it. You really have to be on guard at all times anything and everything could happen in this place. It is a extremely busy place I have never seen anything like it until I walked in. In fact I turned down the job told the manager I would think about it I was not into hopping tables anymore I liked my cushy Banquet Captain jobs a totally different line of work in Hospitality. I just did not want the one on one with guests again and dance for tips do cartwheels, Banquets I get paid whether you like me or not! I have what it takes to wait tables my whole thing is show me the money or you've lost me zzzzzz in every interview they tell me it is a busy Restaurant ahuh sure lie to me I like it.


anyway I take the job because a friend of mine(server) was not going to take no for an answer ok ok get off my back. I was working there for a few years but my Resume was long before I hit this place. There seemed to be the type of shady guests that dine here that think it's okay to leave and not pay and they will go to extreme measures to do it unbelievable to me that I have to babysit people and watch them eat on top of everything else my job requires. The Restaurant opens at four we always had a wait out the door it did not matter what day it was the food was great and our repeat revenue was over twenty five percent. There was entertainment on the weekends lol that is another blog.....


So I'm driving into work music blaring listening to Guns N' Roses Welcome to the Jungle Baby! and Grand Master Flash " It's like a jungle sometimes makes wonder how I keep from going under heh heh heh heh" "Don't push me cuz I'm close to the edge I'm tryen not to lose my head" and when I leave work from a full night of hell battling Satan and his Hordes, my song changes and now its Lenny Kravitz "Fly Away" "I want to get away" "I want to fly away" yeeah yeeah yeeah blaring when I leave the parking lot tis true.....lol


Another day in the life cycle of this wonderful world of Hospitality. My section is towards the back and the early birds start coming in I had this two top of Lady's that really were not talking very quite nice polite to me but suspicious to me and my waitress antenna's were up hmm yea there up to something for sure I give my co-workers a heads up yo I think I have Dashers ok we gotcha so if I have to make a run for it they would watch my section vice versa.

The owner frowned on walk-outs there whole philosophy is it is your job to take care of your guests and be attentive and if you were not you were careless. So I walk into the kitchen for something come back out and now there is one lady sitting instead of two ahuh it's on! I'm watching her movements so I walk towards the front door of the Hotel and I see her run threw the lobby threw another smaller Restaurant we had on property and rip off her Lobster bib I motion to a cook I'm gone after her outside by now inside news it spread threw the Restaurant I'm outside and it is crazy busy during our rush. I go outside and hide watch what car they get into I come out from hiding and walk around her license plate she is inside trying to start the car fast but it is a rental and her windshield wipers are going and she is nervous as hell!

There yelling at each other inside the car! while I'm in back of the car writing down her license plate numbers it is illegal to dine and dash in my state. She gets outs and starts screaming at me I just looked at her guilt ridden face you are a liar mam pay or go to jail it's that simple my check is open the hostess said you never paid her up at the front and you know you never paid me.

I am in good health I am personally at runner and hit weights, so as she is moving towards me spitting and waving her hands screaming at me calling me everything under the sun each name that came out in my mind I was laughing umm you don't even know anything about me to use such LINGO DUMBO! I'm thinking touch me and I will touch you back :) lol gahead


I looked up on the curb and I see one of my managers standing there motioning her hands down like be cool my guest now turns her attention on the manager who she now See's standing there and begins to argue with her it did not do any good she said mam I need you to come in and pay or your going to jail I turned and looked to my corner and some of my co-workers were standing behind the fence smiling and giving me a thumbs up on there smoke breaks lol a few of my beloved cooks and bussers taking the trash out said other things LMAO ah funny I have fans! lol

The police were pulling in the parking lot by that time. My guests came in and paid yelling putting up a fight her line was" I paid already but I guess I'll pay again" ahuh sure whatever Lady!
She used every excuse you could think of seriously she began to draw a crowd from other guests that were paying and leaving and happy to be on vacation and not buying into her ridiculous scheme that she knows she is not getting away with just buying more time at the register getting louder, and louder as if that is going to prove herself she is innocent from eating and running out on her check! So when your on camera running threw the Hotel pulling your Lobster bib off, ahuh and that wasn't you right? lol whatever Lady! You can't play me I was born to do this I am on top of my game when I serve.

If looks could kill I stood there right by the hostess and the manager while the two cowards crawled back in and paid. I refuse to take a write up for you! and be disciplined I don't pay for anyones FOOD! Average guest check at early bird time is $200.00 Going to jail on your vacation is your choice. Once again you got the wrong girl! I think my choice word is ownage. LMAO
I still hear Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses when I think of that place like a tape in my head. "You know where you are Baby?" " You in the Jungle" and I cringe seriously.... Like....I'm not kidding.....


Yours truly
Waitstress

Part two: A Bartenders Joke that backfired

I met with the owner and the mod we decide my training was up I aced the menu test and made my money for the week I played the games well purdy much a master at them on the floor skarken tables being a door whore. I know the whole new girl were gonna play you type deal. Well it didn't work for some servers they were angry lol so they got back at me by checking my side work out which makes me laugh because they couldn't find anything to make me redo over lol hilarious you keep looking though tare my section apart be neurotic if that makes you feel better the whole lead server power trip lol you can't leave until you roll silverware Oh no silverware! whatever will I do? lol I can find a dishwasher send it threw twice and roll nice try though so if you can just sign I'll be on my way and you might want to check your HORMONES because you are a very BITTER server! your face shows it. Start taken HORMONE shots instead of smoken weed you'll smell better and no crash. lol


The beloved cooks were a blast to work with alot of smack talking threw the window they had me laughing so hard I barely got my tray over my head lol a few where coming to the new location so that made it nice the abuse threw the window will continue oh yeeeah lol


There was still a small hum threw the Restaurant and what I had said to lover boy bartender everyone was still talking about it still and the regular guests. The other bartenders enjoyed it and could not stop laughing about it he had it coming. I said well I don't know about all that but if you want my attention that is the wrong way to get it and don't ever interfere with my income. You got the wrong girl.

I came into work as usual lover boy was on duty I had two days left in this place. I ordered a pitcher of beer for my guests and he would not get it his response was "I don't have any pitchers there in the dish room you have to go get one". "That is how we do it around here" His bar was dead he had three people. I had the whole patio I was starting to fill up another server game with the hostess slam her and then watch her run around and don't help me. People people people you don't even know me this is when I do my finest work and I'm on the top of my game lol SLAM me all you want and watch me run around hmm yea I would MOVE out of my way if I were you there is no mercy sit back and maybe you might just learn somthing my max level is 14 tables at one time so GO BIG OR GO HOME! As far as lover boys response to me I thought
hmm O rly yea I guess your legs are to tired from carrying around that gigantic fish bowl of a stomach you have and all that sloshing around would make you tired and walking to the dishroom to get a pitcher is to muilt tasked for you. One would have to ask yourself a question can you see your shoes?

I looked at him and grinned like the Grinch who stold Christmas or a Cheshire cat laughing on the inside ROUND II DING DING people this guy wants more he is begging for it OK IT'S ON! DIS TIME A REAL SPANK LOL
So I go to the dish room get my pitcher walk behind his bar and get my pitcher of beer he comes around the corner and started yelling like a two year old "YOU CAN'T COME BACK HERE" I ignored him laughing trying not to spill my pitchers out to the patio I go.

Every time I had an order I went behind the bar and made my own drinks I was not going to let my guests suffer or my TIPS!!! because he had a bragging problem that backfired he was infuriated he went to the mod. The mod didn't want hear it they have bigger fish to fry in the Restaurant lol so I again made my money had a blast and at the end of my shift I dropped a bomb I refused to tip him out and I had a lot of alcohol people I know how to up sell I've been in the business a long time. He was so mad it was funny to watch lol I checked out with the power trip bitter lead server and over tipped my busser and left lol

Last day of lover boys games same thing a repeat I up sell and made my own drinks all night I was out early because now the server and hostess games had changed now they want to cut me off the floor first which is not surprising. I am making too much money and having way to much fun. A week had passed and I had call party's already it is so funny to watch grown people behave I am a light hearted person in this business you gotta go with the flow and relax or you can blow a tip.

I was outside talken away with my guests and finishing my side work and standing at one of my tables and I feel a cold evil sinister breeze behind me and I look in my pr ifs and its lover boy so now I make him stand there THAT'S RIGHT FOOL time for you to stand at attention. He was invisible to me I kept talking away and he was sweating knowing he can't leave his bar and he was outside on the patio where he should not be he did this like three times. I came in from the patio and he try ed to be sticky sweet and mention I forgot to tip out yesterday and followed me all around the Restaurant trying to discipline me lol hmmm I said no I didn't forget you sir YOU refused to make my drinks yesterday starting with go FETCH A PITCHER! hmm that is your job to keep your bar stocked! I don't play FETCH!
SO NO TIPS FOR JWHO! lol he said you can't do that and kept going and going I turned around OMG! are you still talking? what a whiner I want my money lol yeah and I want my money too! but YOU refusing to make my drinks ANIT going to stop me from making MY MONEY! I will be my own bartender and I am better lol

He went to the mod and complained the mod comes up to me what's going on ? I said no where in your rules does it say I have to tip out the bartender, his conduct is out of line with me and has been sense day one and I refuse to tip him out end of I HAVE TO TIP HIM OUT CONVERSATION! BUH BYE! He said ok sorry Lover boy you should have shown her some respect and made some type of effort to make her drinks you screwed yourself because she up sells. Ok people kiss and make up everyone play nice I got a Restaurant to run.



The moral he lost forty dollars from me oh poor baby. No one controls my income not even you lover boy Lmao


yours truly

Waitstress

A Bartenders Joke that back fired aw poor baby

Have you ever had a bartender rub you the wrong way like sand paper a total freak from the bar scene in the first Star Wars movie and now your nightmare came true and it is what you saw it's deja vu and now you have to work with this creature. I have and this is how it went down.

hmm yeeeah so I took a job and go into work I was hired originally to train and learn the ropes at one of there very first Restaurants and learn the system. The owners were ready to expand and open more locations so my time was brief, so that meant for me straight up play time after all I was not staying here just putting my time in. Learning the menu was read and recite to me and a new computer was pushing idiot buttons for me nothing to difficult, messing with the regulars guests I was the new girl.


As I have said in other blogs I am a person that has fun at work when I wait tables so this was a new play ground for me. I met everyone all the server clicks and the cooks there bark is always worse than there bite ring in what you need modify always and take it out in a timely manor and their cool.

I met the bartenders and this one happened to be a complete freak right out of Halloween.
He always went out of his way to say very off colored things to me shock and aw. In a very loud tone so he could be heard by everyone told everyone I couldn't keep my hands to myself I was after him. ahuh sure
I let it all go He did anything to get my attention and that still did not work so then he got straight up nasty. He took his sweet time making my drinks he liked to make me stand there or he never got my tickets at all I new they were crumpled up and in the garbage or in his pockets umm this is not my first day in a Restaurant wow! you are so clever
my guests are parched and looking around for me! errrrrr my money!

I remained calm heh heh thinking you really don't know me and the power of this blond head of hair, I'm not the bimbo you saw in a magazine as if we are all cookie cutter paper dolls, umm you got the wrong girl old man I will drop kick you so fast you wont know what hit you with my one liners. A bit of a bio for you...........
Star Wars freak..... One of my very first Jobs in Hotels was a cocktail server I know the drill I can balance a Martini lay a cocktail straw across the with of the glass and walk do the math it works you'll never spill I have seen a bar before and from the looks of yours it was not all that sophisticated. *yawn*


So a week had passed and it was time to take the trash out and slam dunk this guy. All his slimy jabba the hut comments that he was enjoying he got away with in front of the whole restaurant and now I was up to bat I've always liked baseball I hope this bartender wore a cup because he's about to go down for the count IT IS SO ON!

It was Friday night we were starting to fill up a nice full bar people were coming in. I ordered a Heineken Beer bottle I walk to go pick it up at the end of the bar the service area he slowly takes the top of like were in slow motion or something puts it on the bar with a grimace face right out of the movie The Shining he looked just like Jack Nickolson I new he was up to something right then and there he turns around and looks at everyone at the bar which are all men and a few women turns back to me he says "DO YOU WANT A CHERRY IN YOUR HINNIE"? The whole bar was laughing and looking at me and some were looking down some of them had expressions on there face like oh no he went to far.
I stood there
I looked at him I look at everyone at the bar laughing I reach for my bottle and I say
"IF I WANTED A JOKE I WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED YOU INTO THE BATHROOM"
I closed my fist raised it and said with a loud voice OOOOOOOOHH I KNOW THAT'S GOTTA HURT?? did my victory pump dance LMAO I heard someone say eeeooouch

Everyone heard it the whole bar erupted with loud intense roaring laughter for about twenty minutes everyone just lost it and fell about the place he was the only one not laughing his face was angry and that made the customers laugh even harder and now the tables were turned they had flip the script and began to tease him about the whole bar following him into the bathroom
and play show and tell, by that time people were literary crying with laughter saying stop it !stop it! stop it! I had long walked off so I never heard the jokes that followed some younger bubbly servers found me in my quite place alone outside and were spilling there guts telling me what was said they were laughing so hard they couldn't even get it out to tell me it was cute like two little chipmunks. I am glad I could help put an end to his remarks servers had taken his crap for wayyyy to long. The m.o.d never said a word he was happy his quests were spending money and having a good time.

I have no regrets. A woman has to do what a woman has to do. He hated me after this and it made me laugh long and hard every time I saw him. I still laugh to this day lol I'm laughing as I type this. hahahahahah
The battle is not over I had two more days in this place.
To be continued...............


Yours truly
Waitstress

Why my blog title is The Waitress from Hell

This is just one of my chapters I am working on for my book.


I would like to describe one of my many gahzillion nights in Hospitality this one in particular
had a different twist throw the dice and where ever they land is a crap shoot as far as my fate was concerned and if I had a job in the morning it was up to complete and total strangers I had served the night before. My moral character and integrity would not hold any ground yea it sucked to be me. lol

When this happened I already had OVER twenty years in the business and moved across country. I know food I know alcohol I know people. I have skills and carry myself well and make a good living at it. I have what it takes. Arrogance you say N-O-P-E not I SAM I am just a seasoned vet with confidence.

My life span with Restaurants is usually seven years at a place and then I begin to Itch like I'm in a wool sweater. I had just left a place on good terms but I am a person that is always evolving and need to grow. I had heard an old boss was coming to the area with a new phase I had worked for him before and adored the guy his side kick was a server I loved and admired like a brother we had great times serving and he was now a manager for him.

He hired me I took the job along with it came everything else under the sun :) eh I don't pay anyone mind I am there for one reason and I will mow you over I am aware of the Server&Hostess&Kitchen games I was back in the day when they were invented although I'm told I don't look my age that's comes with what is inside a person that is projected out. I am a girl that likes to have fun when I serve and I do laughter is good medicine.

I was having the night of my life the kitchen manager was on everyone case to push the Lobster no problem I pushed four and that included a surf and turf. Our Lobster's were not small shrimp they were enormous tails. I was a happy server had money in my pocket and love all the way around. Over tipped my bartender and love to my buser So towards the end of the night I get the last DEMON table of course. The hostess sat Freddy Krueger and the Bride of Frankenstein in my section of course and rolled her eyes at me like good luck with them and being a seasoned vet those are the perks in this business from being in it so long we get the VIP tables Freddy and his Bride are in the house oh here's a good one it's your turn on rotation. *yawn* ahuh sure and this is my first day in a Restaurant.

I go threw the the whole menu with them Freddy asked me questions about the fish I explained all nine pieces, the Bride didn't like that at all her body language was telling me um its my man. She was so focused on me helping him decide she could not concentrate on what she really wanted to eat. I talked to her about flavors and sauces preparations of cooking seafood what complements them all. They came to an agreement she was having salmon he was having shrimp. I refilled their drinks brought salads there were no exchange of words at all she wouldn't even look at me he seemed to get a kick under the table if he looked at me. They were seriously discussing something so I know my timing. I pre bused quietly let them know I would be returning I brought there food hot asked if they would like anything else to complement there entrees. They said no looks good thanks I got a half smile from them. Two minutes go by I return

I refilled their drinks again I asked if their entrees were okay if she was enjoying her fish she had never tasted before everyone pallet is different yes everything is fine I get a crack of a smile from her and he nervously smiled back.

They refused dessert and coffee, left quietly and a below average tip. I picked up my book looked in it read the comment card the checks were all poor the hostess asked what the hell was wrong with them? I said it was personal between them who knows. I was off the next two days I get a call from my boss he said I need you to come in asked me if I remember such and such table I really didn't considering if people are so miserable they complain right on the spot so I could not place them. I don't get complaints about my service. The food yes the Restaurant yes other issues yes but not my service I take pride in my service.

I came in we sat down he gave me a email that the Bride of Frankenstein wrote about me. I was reading and I still couldn't remember them. This email to corporate went like this. I am emailing you to describe the waitress we had she was awful. My boyfriend asked her about the fish and she was nasty when she was explaining it, she refilled my water with sprite, the food was so bad we couldn't even chew it, my boyfriends shrimp was like rubber, her hair was such a mess it needed to be combed we were very unhappy blah blah blah

folks we were reading this and laughing seriously first of all I just came from a very expensive fine dinning Restaurant that choked the life out of me and was stealing my soul every night from waiting on celebs and the elite so my service was very polished before I came back to work for him and I looked forward to something that was not so formal and tense. I know my seafood for cripes sake and my right from left NEXT! KABAM

I don't bring pitchers of sprite to the table so I did not pour sprite in your water your glass was clear with a lemon SODUH drinks are color coded glass's again I know my habits and have taken care of a MILLION weddings and have Bar tending skills I am a former Banquet Captain NEXT! KABAM

We read the ticket time for her fish and his shrimp neither were over or under cooked. They chose to eat this horrible food and lick there plates clean but the email said they could not chew it! and could hardly swallow it. hmm O RLY well in my world there are two types of Seafood Restaurants ones with freezers and ones with no freezers only coolers so the Bride had a fresh catch. NEXT! KABAM

My service was soooo bad I was the waitress from hell that they had to endure me and never complained they just sat there and took my abuse for two hours I was sooo nasty to them there whole entire meal they couldn't enjoy there food because I had upset them so much and remember I had sold four Lobsters includeing one surf and turf I won a free meal from the kitchen manager for my sales and had well over two hundred in cash in my pocket. In my defence I said no way was this my attitude or countenance I was very happy. NEXT! KABAM

Oh this is my favorite my hair? this killed me there last triumph card of there evil experience I put them threw yea my hair is a mess LMAO umm folks I am a license cosmetologist and have worked in beauty salons I am no bar fly with scorched hair my hair is long silky and blond and it is mine all mine and I braid it to the side and out of the way. I said Michael what is wrong with my hair he laughed and said nothing it is pretty. WOW! lady my hair? you are really reaching! right there that tells me you hated me from the beginning I opened my mouth at your table.

After all this I said wow! Michael I can't believe it yea he said I know it's not you I know you it was a cheap shot to write a email off and not come forward and complain their complete cowards! and threw all this they still payed there check! we agreed I said where was Ken our manager when all this was going down and I was the waitress from hell?

I told Michael he was right at the bar sitting five feet away from this table doing his order and waiting to close down. Ken and I have both worked for you for years you know our habits. He said yea I know but my partners don't know you and they were not happy I have to let you go I'm sorry I looked at the email in my hand I looked at him with dignity and grace and said I am sorry this happened and I never thought it would end like this, Michael is a big man like Tony Soprano and I saw his and my eyes welling so I hugged him tight and walked out of the Restaurant. I was lay ed off for the first time ever in my career. So I did what every server does after this I got tipsy I bought a cigar and sat outside listening to Dave Matthews band the song is Grace is gone excuse me please one more drink and I'll move on LMAO

I am still amazed at the audacity of guests and there extreme measures they take to make another human being suffer for no reason at all only because they can and that is why my blog is titled The Waitress from Hell

Yours truly

Waitstress

Part Two: Loose Lips Sink Ships

After I endured that crap I thought to myself I have seen it all in serving and have purdy much done it all. I have a great Resume and have met several nuts in Restaurant work and have served a lot of people in all area's in Hospitality but this takes the cake for sure.

So after a few months went by after my experience my husband had a serious issue at his job and I am happy to say he is still with me yes it was just what your thinking he was held up very scary for a manager, so the owner called our home he was concerned which is rare for them to do but as I said we have known him and my husband has worked for him for over ten years.

I answered I said hello he expressed his concerns I said thank you
then oh then he says oh yeah I was in a Restaurant hmm I don't know which one I laughed thinking here it comes he said oh these lady's said you took care of them I said yeah Joe I did

I happen to work in a nice supper club with great food I bank rolled there. I said I remember them they gave me a real hard time for no reason for a few hours belittled me taunted me for an argument tryed real hard to provoke me kept asking me if I was okay? You look mad oh I hope we didn't upset you? Are your sure you like your job? You don't look like you do? complained about the food but had there feed bags on and gorged themselves and sucked back quite a few drinks they told me they could hardly drink but will manage to get them down and slurped the cocktail straws hard to make the sound so I know they were ready for more like two year olds who need desperate attention and kept me away from my other tables and thought they were gonna get away with it until they mentioned to me that they themselves worked in the business and told me where and for who. I am a lady and handle myself well and I know the game women play.
PATHETIC AND SAD!!!

I'm sure they said more they couldn't wait to return to there store to clean there conscience for what they had done and lie to her store manager. After all lady's your more than two hours away and your in my town my Restaurant visting what are your chances of having a server who is the wife of the same company you are taking SMACK about and happens to know the OWNER for over ten years.

Joe said I'm sorry this happened to you and their just old yeah Joe there old and cost me money that night my tips were ridding at other tables my income my bread and butter food out of my kids mouths yeah there old and bitter and what goes around comes around I am a firm believer in that I have seen it wayyyy to many times in this business. That will be a lesson to all watch your mouth when you talk smack because you never know who your server is show respect for younger women in the business and have some DYAM CLASS for being as old as you are.


I choose to grow old gracefully age like a good wine and show no malice on anyone and when I do dine out I sure as hell don't give a younger girl a hard time for no reason because I can, I over tip and show love and share similar story's and encourage. My title of my blog is no mistake that is another story yet to come from another moron guest with no class. Tis true lol


yours truly

Waitstress

Loose lips sink ships you never know who your SERVER is!

The Restaurant opened and my first round of tables went something like this. My third booth seems to always be a problem table when I have this section. Two older Lady's were seated I greeted them they were condescending from the beginning and they could not make up there minds for a drink order I was told I don't know my alcohol drinks and I wouldn't know what a Rusty Nail is nor could I make one as I was sized up and down and judged for my age and looks and hair.
GOTTA LOVE THOSE CHARACTER ASSASSINATIONS! The first five minutes of meeting two complete strangers!

I let them know I would be back and give them more time and left them with water and lemons.
I went in the waitress station thinking out loud to my co-workers who have known me for years. I expressed that these two Lady's were going to be difficult to please they HATE me already and no matter what I do they wont appreciate it. Why me?

I went back to the table endured their glares. The conversation was horrible for women their age and how they were speaking to me first of all I am no ROOKIE I have been in the business for awhile. They told me they were in the business too and the one still did waitress. I though so what's yer point your old and bitter? insecure ?what?

They proceed to tell me a new owner took over and wrecked the place she had worked for so she quit and was a cashier. The other one told me she waitressed for such and such company told me the owner owns both places.
I asked what the owners name was? Thinking to myself I know a lot of people in the area even thought the state is big I have many friends that serve all over. They told me his name and began to tare him apart as I watched these two ungrateful old BITTER LADY'S go on and on and on about him and why she quit as a cashier and why the other still waitressed for him at another one of his Restaurants.

I excused myself from the table went and got my cell phone came out from the wait station with everyone watching me risking a write up and time off the schedule for being on a cell phone. I walked up to my table calling my HUSBAND oh hi babe how are you ?

I said who is the Store manager at such and such location I looked at them both with DISGUST
my husband told me her name. I said is your Store managers name !@#$
she said YES IT IS! she died right there dropped her fork, the other one was speechless!

They slid down in the booth both of them and there faces were red as tomatoes.
I said lady's that owner happens to be my husbands boss for over ten years. He owns several Restaurants in the area and my husband manages the same one you work for but a different location and I told her my husbands name and the location.

BTW I am aware of what a Rusty nail is , a Tom Collins, a Mai Tai , and a Grasshopper those are very OLD outdated drinks! and I could make them with my eyes closed!
AND FOR THE RECORD!
Don't ever understimate the power of a Blonde we hold more cards than you think we do!

My whole section heard me and a few clapped I heard a few DATTA GIRL!
YOU TELL UM!
They were happy I put and end to there madness of INSULTING ME for two hours straight and taking me away from my other tables where people LOVED me and want my service.
I am a DAM GOOD SERVER!!! I know my job and DO IT WELL!

My advice to old bitter lady's dinning out close your mouth you never know who is taking care of you! AND your lame barrages of I'm sorry were really pathetic and your tip was less to be desired I deserved more. I had to take your insults and neglect my other tables!!!
You knew what you were doing and enjoyed your game up until you got caught in a web of lies.

When I got home from that HARD DAYS NIGHT! My husband was the man of my dreams and we laughed into the morning at people dinning out with NO CLASS!


I have a follow up to this I will add at a later time yes there is more...

What nerve just because you are old does not give you the right to be rude!


Yours truly

Waitstress

The I want! take-out guest

The I want Guest.

I was at work one day going along setting up my section polishing stemware , carpet sweeping, lining up my chairs dreaming I was somwhere else. A going threw the motions kinda day. I'm at work but not really.
A guest walked in before we were open to the hostess stand.
I acknowledged and walked over considering all the hostess's are out back and unavailable we open right on cue and not a minute before.
Yes sir How may I help you? I explained we were not opening for a few minutes and he could look over our menu.
He looked at me and told me he was ready for me to take his order. I said sure I would be happy to do that for you scrambling at the hostess desk.

Yes sir what can I get you? His words were I want! as I waited for something to come out some entrees all he said was I want! sir do you need more time? nah nah I'm ready to order five minutes passed by now my co-workers were coming to the front of the Restaurant and looking at me quite strangely.
The game was make me wait all quests play it at one time purposely make you stand at there attention.
He finally said slowly after about ten minutes I want a medium supreme pizza but I don't want onions yes sir and I don't want green peppers okay sir and I don't want sausage or pepperoni? so I paused politely and said so sir you would like a medium mushroom pizza?
yeah yeah I want.
By now the whole crew had watched me go threw this ordeal everyone I worked with was watching this with amazement as to why a person would put another person threw this and my answer is because they can.
I gave the order to the cooks they rolled there eyes and not sure what they did after that. I do not cook it or deliver it.
I have checked my co-workers heads for 666 on some heads I found one 6 and on some other heads I found a double 66 and their are those that always have horns on there head ready to rumble.

This is a Restaurant Golden rule never give people in Hospitality a hard time for no reason. Moral issues what moral issues? I have worked all over in this business the rules are the same in Hotels, Resorts, Coffee shops, Cocktail serving, Yuppies,Buffets, Diner shows and Fine dinning. I have seen it all and have worked in them all!
One game always leads to another game in this business. I will never understand why people go out of there way to give another human being a hard time for no reason at all and enjoy it!
A perfect stranger.


Your truly
Waitstress

About Last night

Thank you sir for admitting your wife is a complete total pain in the neck. You can't seem to control her nor can we and it is not in our job description.
When you approached me and asked me for something stronger to drink because you had to deal with her. I had the best drink for you JAHMAKENMEKRAZY! Have you ever had this one? and Bartender make rounds for all the employee's ! She is making everyone Krazy!

Some people are just never happy EVER! They are on a mission to shoot barbs at everyone all night long like a turkey shoot, even the Bride was not spared.

It was now time of the cutting of the cake. A beautiful moment and treasured one. A quite hush threw out the room. The photographer kept tripping over every cord in the room, not sure if his feet were just to big or he had a few drinks with the Bride's Father. I try ed my best to make sure he was on two feet and not one like a flamingo.

As I came a round to serve Happy Lady's table her response to me was

"ahum I wanted chocolate cake" I smiled and gently told her this is the bride's choice and you might want to try an after five 0' clock chocolate coffee? It would be yummy and complement the cake I would be happy to get that for you. She smiled for the first time all night! and said that would be lovely
decaf or regular mam?

wow! What energy a person can draw from you in a night. SHEESH


yours truly
Waitstress

Hey Lady!!!!

Could someone please explain to me why oh why would you not wipe of your child's dropping's from a high chair YOU used in the restaurant?



Um yeah that would be you LADY and that would be why the whole entire restaurant is looking at you as you leave. You know what your doing as you look at me and nervously smile at your child's artwork which leads me to believe you've done it before! SHAME!


We realize you can live like a slob at home but when your out in public PLEASE!
Where food is served it would be most hostpitable to clean up after your baby! and not leave your smear for us it is absolutelly discussting! Thank you for making me and the whole staff gag today! It proves a point no matter how you polish a turd you still are a turd! Money dosent buy you class or manners.



yours truly
Waitstress

Come in sit right down and pull up a chair!

Welcome :)



I am one person with a voice in this wonderful life of serving!

What it is to serve the public and remain normal is a challenge everyday in this business.
I am convinced there are three types of servers.



1. One's that never make it and go down in flames their first week. (poor things)

2. One's that leave the business and want to return.

3. One's that never leave this business.