I don't know what I've been told! Singing Birthdays everynight GETS VERY OLD!

Are we going there? yea we are, I have never met Waitstaff in this business that enjoyed doing a Birthday ever? First of all we are not SINGERS for most of us that smoke and drink heavy and indulge in narcotics legal and illegal before work at work and after work to make it threw the day or night. It is better to avoid singing at all costs unless it is drinking songs then of course everyone is in tune. Birthdays really put us painfully behind when we have other tables riding. Here are some examples just to name a few, Food is up in the window the cooks are screaming for you and threatening no re-fires. Your sat a new down the Hostess shrugs her shoulders and walks off and says "They wanted to sit there and their in a hurry they have a plane to catch I gave them to you because the other servers yell at me and you don't"( Do I look like the Fluffy Fairy Godmother and I can make that happen?) CRIPS? oh and you haven't been the the restroom yourself in about five hours your kidneys are screaming with a backach and your teeth are flooding and it's hard to walk and talk.......weeds ah yes the weeds....a slammed station in a matter of minutes......

One of your tables is waiting to pay growing green moss on them because they've been waiting for you for so long and still do not have a check. Another table needs refills and every time you walk by you hear a slurping of a straw its a musical sound that Carry's in the Restaurant like a out of tune instrument a horrible vibration going down a servers spine letting everyone know your incompetence and who has that table? They need refills? In your mind your thinking in a minute I CAN hear you Simmahdown NAH Simmah, I have two hands. Your ringing in orders and appetizers again for your Hungry Hungry Hippo table that can't seem to get full! Your other guest gets up finds you and starts pulling on your shirt while your at the computer someone at there table has a Birthday and they want to know if you do anything for it? and I say "oh Happy Birthday" They laugh yea but do you have Birthday Cakes? UMM that would be a big NO! last time I checked we didn't have a Bakery on property, err I smile yes Sir I can make it happen no problem.
hmm I'm thinken oh it's yer Mother's Birthday? and it did not occur to YOU to buy a cake and bring it in for your own Mother? WOW! yer a piece of Artwork! a real friggen PICASSO! He walks off..... I click my no slip Ruby Red nasty crusty fowl Restaurant glitter slipper heels three times and say Auntie Em theres no place like home..... Auntie Em's Response back to me( My inner sweet girl I am) in my head in a Munchkin land voice back to me SINGING You can do it! You can do it! Fa La La La La .......... ahuh sure........ What the FROSTED FLAKES EVER??? be gone Munchkin land voice in my head! I am about to go down people!!! I am on the ACDC Hwy to Hell!!This will be a REAL miracle if I can pull this off tonight without out a meltdown in my section and everyone is outta control with there gimmie gimmie gimmie moores.........and keep a steady flow of decent tips coming in!!! I YELL IN THE STATION!!! I NEED BIRTHDAY SINGERS!!!!!



This Restaurant was very busy and notorious for Birthday's I never got that memo that I would need to sing. Every night of course is a chain reaction with guests if you yell Happy Birthday at one table it had a domino affect it was the wave and every server had a Birthday in their section and quickly you became on the hit list with co-workers and you were abandoned by some and rejected as a leper as if you were up selling Birthday cakes but then there is pressure and Karma and Paranoid servers if they didn't help you they would most likely have FOUR Birthdays in there section Ive seen it too, I'm not kidding....... The excuses for Birthdays was RE-DICKcueliss. I kept score one night it was like Twenty Krazy Birthdays we lost our voices that night we could not yell sing or talk at our tables! Next day everyone brought in a Full Arsenal of Drug Store cough drops and throat sprays you want we had it you need it we got it. I still believe this Restaurant was built on some type of burial ground with everything that I experienced in it! Right out of the movie Jumanji, if fact I hear the drums beat lol.......sort of a Tribal thunder drum beat........lol


Being the prankster server I am and the addiction to laugh to break up the pressure at work in having to be in the zone so much of the time I took opportunity's to play at work. If I saw a Birthday cake that a server had sitting there with a candle in it but waiting for their guests to finish eating. I would help myself indulging and satisfy my sweet tooth craving and take a bite out of it and it caught on with other servers they would walk by and say heyyyy who's cake? heh heh heh I dunno and two bites heh hard to chew fast before the server whos cake it belong too came threw the station you had to bite it chew and swallow fast! It was really annoying to go and get another cake and candle while their looking around aw man who bit into my CAKE??? A long list of colorful words non stop loud profanity and purdy graffic in detail lol I had to leave I could never do it with a straight face I bust up wayyy to easy, We had a Newbie one night I think we bit like eight pieces of cake newbie ended up walking around with the cake on her cocktail tray so no one would bite into it servers with sharks fins roaming around waiting for her to set that tray down Jaws music and all ROFLMAO........

I see them out of my puriffs looking for me waiting in front of the station grinning shaking their head pointing their two fingers in their eyes and then pointing them back at me! as if to say "I got choo I know it was you" I look up and smile while I'm a table taking and order smiling back as if to say Mmwah? Me? as I point to my chest? I come back in the station arms full of plates as the victim server standing there follows me around "lemmie me smell your breath I know it was you! You ate my cake open yer mouth?" Payback time! I had my fair share of it right back at me. lol
So not only was it ruff to follow threw with celebrating your guests Birthday and finding the time and having to deal with guests glares! Did you forget? Now is a good time! as they wink and clear their throats. A server game is played, CakeBate! eh it broke up tension at work and in this Restaurant we needed to laugh and keep moving server games keep a server sane. I am tons of fun when I serve. I can not control guests and how they behave in Restaurants but I can control how I react and I choose laughter and there is never enough of it not on my watch..........

Bob Seger The Legend sang in his song Traveling Man "And those are the Memories that make me a Wealthy Soul"

Yours Truly

Waitstress