The Breakfast joint Sleaze ball Manager

Things that make you go hmm hmm hmm



Hmm yea so I was unemployeeeed at the time and Hubbybear takes me out to this Breakfast joint. It is a chain Restaurant they're always packed and they are in every town every city everywhere. As you well know from reading my blog my eyeballs don't open before noon I don't have small children and the Knight life has always been for me. I am not a morning person I never was some of the best times for me is when I cock tailed I miss those days LOL

anyway... so We go into this joint and load up on carbs and Kwoffee
I scope around as we Waitstaff people do it is a habit we have our ears too the place eye's like a telescope and the norm the Hostess's are bickering who is lazy and who isn't and there fighting about the crayons and floor charts sloppy handwriting ect...

Cashiers are strung on strong Kwoffee and are really perky trying to push over priced gifts we don't need but are a impulse and fun time pieces and pretty to look at but Nick knack junk to dust.

We wait and wait okay now were sat by the happy hostess she mumbled something and walked off. Servers are busy it was a weekday hmm okay four tables a piece times eight hours already I'm doing the math hmm no booze morning shifts ect...


I am going over in my mind what it would be like to work here I count the servers on the floor
ect.. so we order we eat I mention to Hubbybear I think for fun I wanna apply here as we were walking out he turns to me really? He laughs at me smiles sure whatever you want I'll wait so I go back in ask for an application.

I get one fill it out and the cashier gives it to the used car salesmen M.o.d a charming fellow he had one of those comb overs he was rocken when your bald like a cue ball but you let one side of your head of hair grow out real long and then just comb it over, hair colored too BTW Wrong color but colored I am a hairdresser I have a trained Eagle eye. I notice his tie is bright yellow(dirty krusty stained) shirt is a lemon yellow brown stretch pants tie is some sort of Windsor a 1/2 of some kind. The length of the tie on him came to about the four button down so it was right in the middle of his chest and stomach. Oh my, He is right out of the 1960's 1970's era


He takes the application from the cashier looks at me and asks if I have time right now
LOL 000 that is a loaded question

Dasssss badddd badgirl LOL so I smile and say sure I sit down and humor myself some more and see if I really could land a job on the spot. He asked me the normal questions in an interview and tells me he has no openings for a Server but has opening for cashiers

yea I said hard to keep them huh? stealing of course and all that gift shop crap. He apparently has an appetite for cashiers he can't seem to keep them "Things that make you go hmm" There are things that make you go hmm is this my first day in a Restaurant I say to myself? LOL



So I ask for the hours and he tells me THEN he smiles real creepy looking like he just scored and leans forward and asks me if I am married? I about threw up in my mouth my brain told my stomach acids YEP were coming on up the pipes boyeeesss hang on she is gonna blow carb pancake chow put on the breaks ERRRRRRRREEET!!

I *COUGHED* and choked on my own saliva spit I hit my chest hard people were looking at us His EYE'S bugged "Are you okay mam" He is looking nerviously around scared! He flags down one of the Servers get her some water quick! after a few minutes I tryed to pull my eyes off the table. My eye's were stuck like gooey glue on the table still looking and FIXED on him glaring with surprise. I plucked them off the table one by one as they made a popping sound POP! POP! When you open a champagne bottle I put them in back in my head one at a time after I was able to breath and get air back in my pipes flowing.

My eye's were watering still I looked at him after I swallowed a shhhhit load of water the Server brought me I CHUGGED IT, I reassured her I was okay. Dyammm no warning I never saw that coming......

I looked at him and said yes I am and thank you for your time this morning it has been a pleasure. He got nervous as hell said a bunch of barrages of I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry please forgive me for asking I just moved here and took over this Store I don't know anyone I can't meet anyone I am from blah blah blah and it is real different here this Store is very busy and good help is hard to find your application is the best one I've seen ever come threw. You have experience with good solid references and from talking to you, You seem like the kinda girl I can talk too the kind I can tell you anything. I was getting up pushing in my chair still manageing to swallow and breath as he was talking and talking. I was thinking to myself, What just happened? He said I am sorry a hundred more times I said it's okay really really It's quite alright.
Have a good day Sir! I hope you find what you are looking for in a Cashier.

I walk out eye's still red and watery and a Raspy Jack Daniels Jim Beam Burbon Whiskey smokers voice Hubbybear says WTF? HAPPENED are you okay he grabs me from arm to arm looks at me in my eye's what happened? I said nothing I just CHOKED in the interview I guess I didn't get the job! LOL

I said let's roll babe you know breakfast joints anit for me yes he say's I know you O so well
He opened my door for me asking me "Are you sure your okay?" "I will stop and get you something to drink" He gave me a lifesaver come on get in I'll take you home so you can go back to sleep your a BAT anyway! yea true true I am still sleep walking I just had a nightmare on Blank street seriously while I was awake I think, Hubbybear just looked at me smiled wahit? nothing I say LOL


Interesting: I need a job and he needs too get layed umm I don't follow yer logic two toned yellow stained short tie comb over colored haired brown stretch pants DUDE! Good luck with all that you got going on!



I couldn't make this up if I try ed....like I'm not kidding.....



Its the things that make you go hmm hmm hmmm
Yours truly

Waitstress

If you anit got no money TAKE YER BROKE A@@ HOME!

Are you ready??
You Say ~~~~~

If you anit got no money take yer broke a@@ home!!!
G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-R-S Yeeeah!

ah yes tipping and let's go there shall we! We shall! We all have dreams and goals and a life outside of waiting tables. Somehow the guests seems to ferget we have brains and intelligence.


While they're whining I mean dining in our fine establishment and wonderful company that has our back when we have cheap quests and will do anything and everything to throw us under the bus when it comes down to TIP OR NOT TOO then analyze us personally and pick apart our service. That baddd word T-I-P! If you have money to DINE-OUT you have money to tip! Considering most of us waitstaff cannot afford to feed ourselves and we do our fair share of scrounging around getting food out of the window. Is is dead enough to eat or too dead to eat!

The moronic CHEEP Guest logic: ( It's not denial about not to tip out my server, I'm just very selective about the reality I accept) Great logic when my rent is due so glad your here to dine with us and your my guests....ahem


As if we don't deserve a tip most of us do! I have seen some purdy amazing excuses from idiot people trying like hell to get out of tipping a server! From angry wives to cheap family members who say they got the bill and then you look who is responsible for the tip another family member that was a pain in the !@#$ to take care of this whole entire time and they're going to tip you errr my skin crawls sometimes. When the grat is added for parties of eight or more I have seen people fight that many times well she wasn't that good or the food was bad but we ate it they know dyam well when they walked in there are signs more than once we add the grat. We drop the check and all of a sudden they can't read? OR pratice and apply basic addition only subtraction. Some servers carry calculators CRIPS??? bcuz they ARE gheeeetOOOE! In the ghetto who needs to vist the ghetto the ghetto comes to you for a vist!!! yeeeaye!


A Birthday party came in huge on a Sunday afternoon demanding of course all separate checks OF COURSE! They tell you at the last minute so yer behind and weeded now fixing all 20 checks with discounts gahlore I've had people ask me the lamest questions for discounts? Why yes today is guess yer servers favorite color day anyone who guess's right eats free! and here's the catch the money for the tab goes to me for my TIP! and I pocket it! yeeeeaye!!! GAMES! yes let's play them! I know them all. These type of people are really reaching and pathetic!


and NOW the Jedi mind game of confuse yer server begins:

Oh she's with me and I'm with him and he's over there and these three are my kids and not that one blah blah blah musical chairs now! BOO FRIGGEN HOO! I have been doing this wayy to long I am very aware of the bathroom breaks and talking on phones to distract me and chair hopping you got the wrong girl whadda I look like? cell phone, bathroom breaks,chair moving
You are still going to PAY! Stall all you want! Ree-DICK-CUE-LESS

I fix their checks all 20 of them. The grat is added on each check. One guest didn't pay!!! One check remains open! They bolted and hit the door! VERY GHETTO!!! And many many many Server spell Voodoo's to you that follow. Toe and feet VooDoo's to you! as my co-workers are hugging me some are wiping my tears and some are moving there fingers up and down towards the door the quest just bolted out of saying many many many VooDoo's I am convinced bad things happen to people who stiff Servers and run out on their checks. I like to call it Server Voodoo what you measure out comes right back to you like a boomerang. I hate walk-outs!
It sucks to be me! =(

So now comes the write up that I am careless??? hmm yea careless from a stoopid party that ate like PIGS made a mess ran my butt I deserved a fat tip. They thought they could get out of tipping if they had separate checks??? Woe talk about cheap! Waitstaff personal are human tip detectors we can see right threw you and know from experience's appearance's and what comes out of the guests mouth how cheap your A@@ really is. Ever hear a bird chirp?
CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! It catches on in the Wait Station with other Servers we all mimic
CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! and who could forget the Sesame Street Martians
YEP! YEP! YEP! AHHHUH AHHHUH CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP! Now the whole Wait Station is repeating each other with YEP YEP AHHUH AHUH AND CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!

This industry can't be so cold! My Daddy told me so he let his daughter know!

If you anit got no money take yer broke a@@ home!



Yours Truly

Waitstress

The Theme park that !@#$%

I took this job and I realized after again when I got in it was a mistake! The ANGRY BITTER servers with no personality's at all. I had to deal with I knew my stay would be brief and so it was LOL.

I was CON-D into taking this job by a LAME recruiter who snared ME into the abyss of a shhhhitHOLE! of unhappy ungrateful sour faced know it all Managers with no class or manners at all or respect for employee's we were all just warm bodies and each night they never new who they're staff was. I am talking about a theme park I worked at and a very exclusive fine dinning Restaurant that try ed to steal my soul every night. Training was a joke in this place no one was friendly at all or polite, again I was newbie so that means fresh meat to bark orders at
and take out your frustrations on me. The bar tender hated women so that made some of my nights uncomfortable as hell and to me he sucked and was not that good anyway opening bottles all night pff whatever no imagination at all for drinks.


The waitstaff was cold callous and old. Most of this crew had there time in and were just buying there time going threw the motions. Thirty years or more so asking them questions was like ehem what? or total ignore or a sarcastic answer.
I'm stunned that any of them made any money of course you can suck royally as a server but you think your saved because you can add the gratuity a lot of servers do that give the least amount and do the least amount for your guests but just add the grad. I found it very hard not to laugh out loud hard and long when quests of the park that were staying on the grounds complained about the rigid service they got! as if it is the quests fault every time. WRONG!


It is a toss up between the back of the house or the front of the house who were the rudest.
An example: I was walking in the restaurant napkins folded over my arm I walked past the
executive chef he was standing stirring his soup he just made and put out I asked him
"hmm what is the soup tonight" he turns to me as if I am no great importance at all what so ever
and gave me a look as how dare you even speak to me! women should be seen and not heard his reply 'It is on the menu"

I thought what a JACKASS so arrogant and smug! What an attitude I held my tongue after all I was too new to say anything oooooo I was thinking it though. I threw my napkins over my shoulder shrugged them and walked off! What a hater! LOL


The meeting started I could not even look at his tall sloppy scruffy unkept self chewing away at my gum and snapping it! checking my phone for messages and counting the hours down. Looking out the window thinking of the beach and how I wanted to be at it right now but that would have to wait. His words meant nothing to me he sounded like a windbag blowing hot air around He lost me way back at the soup as I kept drifting out the window FIND A HAPPY PLACE! FIND A HAPPY PLACE!

Funny where do people get off thinking because they have money they have class????
Money doesn't buy you class! I have had the pleasure of waiting on many wealthy people and working with good chefs and bad ones but this Lurch from the Addam's family took the cake!
come to find out he was hired from the outside in what a slam too the sous chef who had fifteen years in with the company.

I never went back and they actually had the nerve to call me and ask where I was LOL
after all you abandon your job! Umm you got the wrong girl ANGRY BITTER manager
ever heard of Johny Paycheck I asked him? He paused
and I said "You can take this JOB AND SHOVE IT I anit working here no more"

Buh bye now Have a good one! as I was laying the phone down getting ready to hang up I heard him louder wait you can't do this! do you know what your thinking ?
What a bunch of plastic zombie wax figured people!!! This job Blowzzzzzzzz
I'm so oudda HERE!!! I got better things to do with my life than to be around you miserable people LOL


Yours Truly

Waitstress

The DEVILS COVE! THE RESORT!

I applied for a management job they told me it was filled hmm okay
I get a call back two weeks later would you consider serving? In my mind I was thinking Oh dear God I hung up my apron. Eh how hard can it be waiting tables in a Resort in the morning purdy
safe, get in get out no morning crew just me and a chef and a manager hmm my habits just me and I work well with me. I work neat and clean. I asked about pay He agreed to a bit more okay I took the job my agreement to myself I won't be staying here long.

The Restaurant faced the pool very nice lush grounds except for the cat piss that gave me a headache everyday if I had tables outside which was everyday because where I live everyone is outside never in. They're pasty white snow birds and in much need for there vitamin D
No problem I love being outside that is why I live in this climate. Human beings are a bit more friendly and kind visiting in a warmer climate after all there on vacation and in sun what more could you ask for right? Wrong? They whine and complain and take out there shitty vacations problems on you. Family's fighting all the time in the morning. I worked for Hotels I heard all the name blame. Resorts you just have the luxury of waiting on them longer they own you longer waiting tables is bitch work.

I realized soon when I started working this place was a LAND OF CONFUSION!
The pool was closed from time to time from teens shitting in it, We had a lot of groups on property. The bar tender was drunk or hungover I never saw him sober. The GM was good at the disappearing act never around of course. The chef was an old nasty scummy pervert who probably was good in his hey day but is weeded real quick and should not be left alone. I'm sure My resume threaten him I am not a punk so I was not backing down if he can't read a ticket
wear your glasses at all times then his OPPSIE were getting on my nerves.


Kitchen manager was @#$% the owner of the resorts daughter so he was not qualified for the job nor did he know what he was doing at all and remained in a oblivious sate of mind. I'm not even sure if he even went to school I dought it.
I met the person that filled the position I applied for. I'm speechless at that sight hmm let's
just say there are going out clothes we women wear and I have been to clubs and then their are work clothes for bending stretching leaning reaching. Apparently someone needs a lesson in apparel. I laughed to myself Wow Lord just Wow! This is why I wasn't hired for the position definitely a WHY? moment I was having too myself. UN believeable capable yes of course it was. I don't belong here at all this is not for me. I need more structure when I work. Had I known this place was up for grabs I would have never taken this job I don't need more aggravation in my life.
You never know untill your in. I know now why they could not keep breakfast servers. They can't find people to stay and put up with the bs and the scummy Chef.

We had many groups of people from all over the states and world on property. They set up this nasty budgeted out buffet it looked cheap and nasty, the equipment was a joke and very old. I plugged in a warmer the wires shorted out
great I get a shock! not the first time. They ended up hiring another server on days who has no clue about serving and has never worked in any type of restaurant at all and will not take correction from anyone very pigheaded she got along real well with the pervert chef they liked to tag team me LOL they had no clue I happen to speak and understand what they were saying considering I too speak there language and comprehend very well so I heard everything eh I let it go whatever do your thing if it makes you feel better.

SO one day a ton of people pile in a lot of large groups going threw the buffet line and we also have an open menue. I had the whole restaurant little miss painted eyebrow on sunshine could only handle so much. I am running my food and she would follow me and tell me which tables were mine hmm I would say no dear you are up next considering were on a rotation your JEDI MIND GAMES DON'T WORK ON ME GIVE IT UP! AND DO YOUR JOB! AND DEAL WITH IT!
enough with the WHINNING! As if I am all of a sudden clueless how the door works and have never in my life seen a podium or a hostess stand!
A large party of picky needy angry at the world group of quests walked in and she told me they were mine. I said no as I was dropping my food off to another table we had to open up another room
I was running two rooms by that point.

I looked at her and told her NO! They are your table your up. You see the games low life's play you think I'm THAT STUPID because you have no experience at all serving and some difficult quests walk in and all of a sudden it's my table. WRONG!
so she let's them sit there because she couldent force me to take them and she finally goes to the table and this is what she says to them "ITSO GUNNA BE OKAY I TAKE CARE OF JWHO"
making it sound like It was suppose to be my table she made them wait on purpose KNOWING she DIDENT WANT THEM! What a SHADY A@@ !@#$! Games Games Games shady people play.



They ran her a@@ all the food had to be made over
everything was wrong she was so nervous she spilled and dropped there food.
The bill was reduced enough to make them happy considering she never put they're order in right because she dosent ask for help because she knows it all. So she had major ticket screw up all the time, but the scummy Chef would say her tickets are perfect and he can never understand mine LOL LOL Dumb and Dumber He has been out of a big Kitchen for so long he can't remember how to read a modifyed ticket LOL yea my tickets and Dumbbell (server) has no how clue how to modify but yet it's my tickets. So if I would have gave into his advance pass's I'm sure he could of understood my tickets better. I told him my husband was big and would kick his a@@. The next day I come to work and he follows me around scared telling me he is a Pastor and shows me some ordained card. hmm scared yea you've done this before you perv! I 'm serious like I'm not making this up I couldent if I tryed. What a scumbag!

I was in a totally different room had no eye contact with these Krazy angry people at all what so ever she waited on that was HER table on a rotation.
The disco queen manager who wore her going out clothes to work was no help at all either I really don't think she has restaurant experience all at, I asked her to run food to a table gave her the number blah blah I'm explaining chair one chair two what entree goes to what guest and she had no clue what WORDS I was relaying out of my mouth. She did not know restaurant LINGO!
The next day I come in and I was told I am racist because I would not wait on that party!
I'm dead serious like I'm not kidding. I was in a another room I had no contact with these quests at all NEVER SAW THEM They were a problem from the beginning and your no experience server knew it and try ed to pawn them off on me I was weeded already I told her and it was her turn on rotation.
That is not racism, very cowardly of you to accuse me when I had the whole restaurant look at my sales they are double hers. What a bunch of !@#$ whiners!!!


GUEEZZUS what am I doing here? I resigned peacefully. I really wanted to tell the ordained perverted pastor chef off! Who showed me his pastor card a few times and little miss sunshine but I didn't
I wasn't going to STOOP to there level.
I AM the bigger person

Alice in Chains has a song: Man in the box

I am a dog who gets beat SHOVE MY NOSE IN SHIT!

Yours Truly

Waitstress

The HOE-TELL

I moved across country just up and left. I applied at a Hotel very well known still today and the company is still shady and a DUMP!

I always roam around before the interview and investigate to see how clean it is. I poked my head in ball rooms, board rooms, walked outside. I guess I thought to myself
I landed the job In banquets and cafe morning server and room service you name it I did it.

A lot of celebs under alias names and powerful business people with STOOPID requests! Were in house quests.
The kitchen was always under stress a lot of events going on all over and the restaurant to stay above water and not go down in flames every night.

This HOE-TELL was nice on the outside but inside the kitchen is was run down old small
not up to date at all. It makes my job worse looking for things I need and a tipsy idiot executive Chef who kept giving me his resume, I don't give a SHIT about your resume ORDER what we need! AND LEARN TO SEW YOU IDIOT! or send your chef pants out! and for God sakes stay in the kitchen! You sloppy clumsy clog wearen moron. I am trying to make money here
HELLOOOOOO

He became a thorn on my side right from the beginning. Oh I get it because I never went to cutlery school I am slow and naive. I know what food is suppose to look like I do cook at home everyday and I can read and take temps and use tools gueezus Chefs are so dyam Arrogant! Make my food pretty so I can SELL IT and get a FAT TIP what don't yah!!! Be proud of your food plated.

The picky stingy prissy bossy women that worked in the HOE-TELL office's would frequent the cafe when they were having their CHEAP day and eating in house instead of going out for lunch and use the discount that was a pain in the a@@ and they reminded me every dyam time like I was some type of peasant girl. I did not like waiting on them and would give the table away when I was in the cafe. Women are a pain in the a@@ to wait on.

I would rather wait on men at lunch time they are in and out and a fat tip and full of smiles. This Hen Fest of women would complain about everything. I know for sure they had special food for them with special spices the kitchen staff hated them. Most of the time the Chefs would come out of the kitchen ans serve them themselves. Going out of your way to give other employee's of this HOE-TELL a hard time for no reason has it's karma.

I had to deal with these lady's in banquets. The accounting managers oh please!
The family's found you cold lame and always out of your office's.

The drains in this dump were gross I called maintenance everyday to clean this foul stench coming from the drain which drifted out into the cafe. I know for a fact it was a dead FAT rat stuck. Do you think they would fix it oh noooo just pour bleach down the drain.
What a COMPLETE IMBECILE! yea just pour bleach that should do the trick, what a sloppy million key chain I'm important talk a big game and do nothing IDIOT!

After my Banquet captain jobs I was ready to move again I left this state and took another job with a Hotel that cared about there employee's. I have been told this Hotel was sold and turned into some budget Motel now and serves continental breakfast no need for a restaurant staff that is costly.

Things are never as though they seem

Yours truly

Waitstress

THE BAR RUSH! THE 24HOUR

You are now entering the time machine. Back in the day I worked third shift at a very well known chain all niter I have worked a few chains and mom and pop places. Bar rushes are every night in this town. From one am to about four am people would come in by the droves like cattle yelling screaming falling down puking laughing crying fighting peeing there pants shitting themselves, eat and purge you name it and repeat every weekend and never remember what they did the week before. What the inebriated quest is capable of never seized to amaze me. I hated New year's eve! but I loved the money I certainly bank rolled that night one dollars bill were five dollar bills. Three fifty back in 1990 was top dollar for seven hours straight non stop running we also put up with a lot of crap! and are worth every dyam dollar. The krazy requests these drunk clowns would ask me to do and get in on there pranks with there crew hmm yeah but it will cost you I'm busy working can't you just SIT DOWN! AND SHUDDA UP ALREADY! Happy Jack one of my regular drunk guys would go in the bathroom and take toilet paper and put it in his pants he would come out of the bathroom
with a long long trail of toilet paper hanging out of his pants! A full bar rush of people full dinning room! I have plates stacked up both arms! and I'm trying not to laugh my head off while balancing! You goofyass! knock it off! I can't balance and laugh at the same time! LOL LOL


There is a mind set you need to work in a very busy 24 hour third shift restaurant. It is just as much pressure as any other type of rush a rush is a rush period and tipsy drunk obnoxious people have no sense of time at all. If they order they think they some how have been waiting twenty minutes PIPE DOWN! I say and the laughs and the mimic games woe don't make her mad are food will take longer LOL nah I never did that but screaming my name across the dinning room because your out of coffee hmmm alright already coming in a minute yah sponge!
I had this dream many times of walking into the dinning room and throwing the food up in the air because of all the open loud mouth wants. What does that tell you about recurring dreams, eh I never did it but I sure as hell wanted too LOL I made it my Golden rule I don't clean your BARF! I can clean my kids and my husbands Barf but not any customer Projectile vomit from drinking way to much and then the smell of breakfast instant VOMIT! Sorry here's the mop! your girlfriend or boyfriend barfed! Feeding yourself when you are drunk can be dangerous as far as choking goes I watched all my customers no one is gonna die on me not on my watch!!

I loved my drag queen entertainers clubs were popping up all over the city and they were fun to wait on GREAT TIPPERS!! never anything less than fifty dollars! NEVER! They were my call parties I sat them in a closed off section of course and they had there fun and had there privacy.
I always gave them there VIP section and they new it and after all they just got off work and needed to unwind. I learned a lot of makeup tips LOL A lot of them really had good voices.
eh Memory lane LOL

Bar quests are fun to heckle I made good money in those days. My mind was always on what my kids need so I took every table I could and would pick up tables even if I wasn't on the clock yet.
The day crew that relieved me however that was another story they were late everyday
always and the lame excuses of why they were late that became a morning show for the regular customers to watch at the counter a cat fight! I won of course every time ummm no morning heavy perfumed Avon wench is going to come at me like that oh hale nah I was up all night and many of those nights were ruff and I take your shit? Most of them quit LOL Good! We need someone on time in the morning. Don't push me OLD lady I have had a very busy nite and I am not taken your SHIT! I have kids and a small baby at home to make breakfast for and get off to school and a husband waiting for my car! We have one! So don't EVEN start with me! This part time job for you old hen is just something for you to do to get out of the house for me it is my bread and butter so come to work on TIME! Or find another HOBBY!

You can learn a lot from older people you wait on if you LISTEN I had a lot of older people that would come in all times of the night like clock work on time and drink coffee and if they were late you got scared! I really did cherish all there guidance and advice. I can still see all there faces in my mind and all the things they taught me. Charlie an older gentlemen would come in at three am sit by his window seat everyday hot hot coffee it had to be hot side of wheat dry LOL
and of course his ashtray LOL He was grumpy and quite but funny too. He would ding his cup with his spoon for more coffee like if your at a wedding and you want the bride and groom to kiss you ding your glass. One morning I was busy a pile of people walked in and there were never two waitress's on during the week always one, weekends two or three. So Charlie kept dinging his coffee cup and he could see I was busy and alone. I finished taking an order grabbed the coffee pot walked over to him said very kindly "Charlie do that again and I will bring you a paper CUP!"His eye's bugged out! with surprise!

He apologized and then there was drunk Charlie from the factory fun as hell very nice very jolly.
Neither Charlies got along LOL one drunk and one sober LOL I had to separate them like kids LOL

I was never robbed thank God! All the police would come in. Breakfast is a very social meal. TO break your fast. I worked bar shifts for years as my kids grew I went to days. Then back to diner shifts. I have a certain amount of tolerance just like anyone else and seven years in these breakfast joint is all I could take.

The 24 hour you meet all kinds of loons,nimrods,jerks,assholes,scumbags,dirtballs,lard ass's,
not everyone is the brightest crayon in the box including me but I know the difference from right and wrong and to hate people because you don't understand them is immature because the next time one of these people come into your restaurants bar rush you see a different side of them.

I met my best friend and sister in this resturant for over twenty nine years we have been best buds. Our lives are very simular. Husbands, kids,dogs,cats, Life in general ups and downs. We still wait tables today LOL

Those were the days my friend We thought they'd never end we'd sing and dance forever and a day we'd live the life we choose we'd fight and never lose for we were young and sure to have our way LA LA LA LA LA LA LA


Yours Truly

Waitstress

KIDS EAT FREE!! 12 AND UNDER! NOT 16 AND UNDER!

Kids eat free LOL yea KIDS the key word. I have seen more adults correct their kids at the table and go to any measure to lie about their kids age it really is sad to see.
I witnessed with my own eye's a table in a station parallel to my station a co-workers table
the kid told the truth about his age and the father slapped him in the head and said "I told you to SHUT UP" It really broke our hearts and went threw the restaurant waitstaff to see that poor kids face eh we gave him a BIG BOWL OF CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM AND LOADS OF JIMMIES ON TOP! and fresh hot chocolate chip cookies for dipping tee hee
The lame father about crawled under the table! Serves him right gueezzus You need a licence to drive, catch a fish, hunt but anyone can be a father PATHETIC!

I had one lady SCREAM her @#$ off at me and spit flying out of her mouth because her daughter was happy to tell me she was sweet sixteen! "SHE NOT SICKSTEEN" "SHE NOT"
That was a roar and a laugh for years in the restarunt. Servers mimic STOOPID customers so well, we really could be ventrilloquist! I have quite a few voices of my own creation. LOL
"I WANT DAT ONE RAT DARE I WANT HER TOO WAIT OWN MMEE" I happen to be up at the hostess stand cashing out a check, and Mr. Rancher happen to see me and tryed to lasso his rope around my neck. My reply under my breath only my co-workers could hear but couldent bust out into loud obnoxious red faced I can't breath laughter! were all looking down at there shoes and there bodys were shaking and they were covering there mouths trying hard not to snort and snot themselves because they know me and are getting ready for my come back. I SAY

" I WASENT AWARE WE WERE FOR SALE SIR" The minic game breaks up tention and WAITSTRESS not waitstaff Let's get it right people LOL

One guy walked in and said "Hey how u doen" I say "um doen good how u doen" Just like Rocky Balboa LOL
and he says "u maken fun of da way I twalk" um no sir The Hostess will be right with you LOL
gahead have a seat sure sure LOL ah the minic game LOL I own all the Rocky movies so
SHADDA UP AREADY WITH THE HATE! LOL I love the east coast accent.

The games people play with the kids eat free deals kids with full goatee's and tattoo's nose rings lady's with cell phones artificial nails loads of heavy makeup but they're 12 and under ahuh sure so I say for FUN "What grade are you in?" and I get crickets and a nothing at the table I get looks back in forth from the kids to the parents to the parents to me LOL whatever lie if you must if that makes you feel better.
This is what I HATE! They're food comes and they have the NERVE to complain about the portion! Hey hey hey READ the menu the portions are all there as described. How many portions do you think you are allowed to get free RETARD! The kitchen is counting them and I am not kidding. One per kid it's not that complexed. People kill me they think because we are servers and we work here in this fine establishment we just sail on rainbows to the kitchen and get all this FREE food from the window and tap dance back out here to you with your FREE FOOD.
We barely eat ourselves and all the bribes and gropeing and scrounging around that goes on in this place we do to survive and we work here. yea it's free but it will cost you LOL yeah think?


For the parents that don't lie and tell me straight up hey my kid is fifteen and does not eat much is that okay if he or she orders off the kiddie menu and I say no probelma!



Honesty is the best policy


Yours truly

Waitstress

Free food syndrome JEDI MIND GAMES LOL!

Waiting tables is the luck of the draw and a life lesson people come in your Restaurant you work for and they come in many forms all walks of life. Tolerance is limited from both sides, you the waitstaff and the quest.

Difficult needy people and you know who you are. You are dealt with in a certain manner it depends on the management team and of course employee's who take matters in there own hands. I have worked with quite a few servers with 666 on there heads and horns all in tack and have there devils cackle down perfectly shrills up the spine it would curl your toes what a pissed of server is capable of doing in the moment. woah I happen to be a firm believer in karma so I personally do not make it a practice of going far beyond the black hole. What you measure out gets measure right back to you. I have said that many times to these particular quests I am about to describe.
The free food syndrome is a well thought out and strategically game played on all waitstaff from The Jedi mind game quest who seem to assume all waitstaff is the weaker mind and here is how it usually goes down and I don't care where you work waiting tables it is everywhere I have told you I have waited tables everywhere and anywhere I am a vet in the business.

Here is one example.


The large gland problem ghetto guest walks in with an angry face as they past by every station seizing up every waitstaff personal as if you sniff you out like a dog and are looking to smell fear in you and look for a weakness by your personal appearance not smiling or greeting anyone. ahh yes my all time favorite game
most of my colleagues and co-workers know this games oh so well when your in the business for
a long time you have the quest pegged.
Nine times out out ten waitstaff are giving each other eye contact threw out the entire resturant whispering to each other and recognizing the guests and relaying to each server who's going to have the joy of taking care of them. The hostess is cringing who to give them too and where to sit the voodoo Jedi mind game table of quests that have changed table seating arrangements three times I have seen some that change while eating and some that cannot get comfortable the minute they hit the door they are looking around who they can harass and get away with it. It is obvious how miserable they are from body language and facial expressions.



Typical and to be expected. It starts of with reciting the menu more than five times to get the wait person in a state of confusion and they love winding you up knowing they feel they have some type of ownership of you considering you are there server and were assigned to them as if that is an excuse to abuse me and allow me to follow you into your state of confusion for the brief time you dine with us. Explaining what we have what we don't have and why we don't offer it and we should, to extra this and extra that and up charges which servers love adding it on as you take up more of our time. To the mimic games to the question question game. Everyone is talking at once. You ask me a question and before I can get an answer out your asking me another question and they are never happy with your answers.

There orders are always modified always the whole table order.
If alcohol is ordered the drinks are always wrong and never strong enough and sent back instead of ordering a double. I am not going to even type what bar tenders are capable of doing to the sent back drink when they are in the weeds themselves and are now challenging there pour it is there liquior cost with alot of profanity! Most of the time the quest flagged down a bus person or another server so you have no clue what these gifted talented people did. Your at a table or in the kitchen remember nothing is ever right at the Jedi mind game table so they drink half of the drink and send it back. They want to bother everyone and anyone they can. I HATE MY SHIRT PULLED ON WHEN I AM AT ANOTHER TABLE! Your not my kids my kids do that! DON'T PULL ON MY CLOTHES!!! I look at there hand and look up at them UMM TAKE YER PAWS OFF ME!!
And my new quests that are trying to order are intrupted and have lost their train of thought and what they were ordering.
errrrrr......RAWR!!
I might remind you I live in a free country and I exercise my free rights all the time and have excused myself from tables many times reason being I have done everything I could do to make your visit comfortable and when you character assassinate me GAME OVER! time for another server to harass because that is what it is straight up harassment for no reason only because you can. They finally come to a decision and order a ton of food.


The food begins to come out in a timely manner and you need food runners to get it all out and they look at it and begin to complain one at a time so you listen to the requests and you fix them you give the manager a heads up VOODOO TABLE has begun to complain about every entree and there drinks.
You fix the re-fires as you argue with your beloved kitchen staff and take it out again by then they either gobble it down or refuse to eat while other members are eating but not talking to you or even looking at you and giving you any eye contact and you think about some sort of tip if any that you might get. After a few minutes go by you ask is everything alright? The complaints started from one end and went around the table one by one and they described why they could not eat it.
Chair one ate all the shrimp off her Alfredo and left the bowl of un touched noodles OH PUHLEEZE LADY! Order a side of shrimp then! yea our home made sauce is NASTY! LOL I can't wait to tell Tony that one! He will YELL so loud the pictures in the dinning room will rattle off the walls LOL but it was a nasty meal and she couldn't eat it. Chair two had King crab legs there was nothing on the plate but opened shells but they were nasty and very salty and she could not eat them on her plate was a corn cob with NO corn on it. Chair three was a chicken sandwich nothing left but the garnish and fries. It went on and on down the line like dominoes
I watched each compulsive LIAR repeat they could not eat there meal but yet there was nothing on the plate. Now comes the MOD to the table same story blah blah we can't eat it we did not enjoy it and it becomes a psycological word game I have been on both sides as a manager and a server. The manager looks at them and the plates and tells them there is nothing left to take off the check because you ate it we re fired it twice for you and you ate it you are going to have to pay there is nothing I can take off the check because you ate it for there third time the mod repeats now they become hostile and they start riping my service apart one by one which are all lies the mod knows it. It still is not working so NOW they get louder and louder thinking the tone of there voice will change the amount on the bill and it doesn't by now security has been called pay or go to jail it's just that simple. They pay very enraged realizing there free food syndrome did not work and the kids have learned how eat food and complain and try to get away with it by raising your voice in other words steal food and not pay because loud tones and accusations will somehow make the manager cower and cave in. Never assume ASS!

What the Jedi mind game table needs to realize that it is our food cost in Restaurants. Our prices go up and when you play your Jedi mind games in every restaurant you vist the individual price goes up for each entree so in the end you lose not only did you have a happy Christen Shirley temple now the price goes up eventually your next visit. Restaurants are not in the business of giving free food away we are not soup kitchens.

It is what it is.......

Yours truly

Waitstress

Don't Hand me no Lines! and keep yo hands to yerself!

Ahh yes Georgia Satellites my honey my baby don't put my love on a shelf and she said

"Don't tell me no lines and keep yo hands to YO-SELF!"

Why do cook's and chef's think because your the new girl LIKE I want you! Do I have a sign on my forehead that says hey I'm the newbie and I want you and if I don't comply my food will take longer? If I even get food in my near future out to of this window while my quests are looking at me like I forgot to put they're order in! No sir I say to my quest after I'm flagged down and I show him my ticket time and when I put the order in, meanwhile I walk in the kitchen and I'm at WAR with the ASSSSSSSSSHOLE! cook and the game is I DON'T WANT YOU for the zillent time nor do I have the time to explain myself why I don't want you but your making it really RUFF on me to make any tips YOU SLUG WITH NO MANNERS!

One Two Three Flour uno dos tres cuatro you kno you want me you know I want cha Rumba Si Ella quiere su Rumba (Como) Rumba Si e' verdad que tu ere guapa Yo te voy a poner gozar Tu tiene la boca granda

What?? DUDE I am at my job working!!! Translation: I want a toy and yer brave You'll give me joy my mouth is big so start playen Oh please! A pitbull wanna be!

hmm yes the cook with the funky lip sores followed me around the Restaurant trying to convince me I was missing out real bad O-RLY ha ha yea I am missing out yea I can't think of a better way to get herpes while I'm working and trying to make a living and it's free and ALL FOR ME!
Yeee-ay! Ahuh and how many kids do you got? and you have no idea where they are?
I got four sons and they all would probly kick yo goofyass!


I want a show of hands how many LOSER cooks followed you in the cooler and approached you?
Please let's have a show of hands how many mutants have pestered the living hell out of you while your at work and your tickets seem to disappear? While your tips are ridding? This situation would make anyone drink before during and after your shift
Hiccup
ohhhh the pain a slow kill......lol


Yours truly

Waitstress

The Diner Show That @#$%!!!!!

Hey everyone thanks for the Love =)

I have been on Hiatus for awhile.I want to describe to you this Diner Show that sucked royally and I'm not kidding it was definitely was not the greatest show on earth nor the best food ugh... It is very well known..

I was hired under the cuff as a server to my request I wanted to see what it was like to serve although what I was hired for was not serving it was management. In order to direct and teach I believe you have to be on a certain level with your employee's in other words I feel your pain.

So I get hired and I walk in threw the hall's not one person knew me but there were no exchanges of hello's at all threw backstage hmm am I a leper woah these people are rude as hell!

I get my costume with more rude people, continue to follow the herd to the bitch out bitter ally rally meetings were. I walked into the woman's rest room aka locker room, not one locker available none, I asked the arena manager for a locker her response back to me.

" oh I have to get maintance to cut the old locks off " Just walk to the other women's bathroom where the entertainers change which is wayyy on the other side a long walk hmmm okay I did that for a few days.

I was treated like crap hated on by the entertainers after all servers were the enemy around here I was learning REAL QUICK! I approach the manager AGAIN umm I need a locker? yea yea PFF
DO YOUR JOB LADY!
Maybe that's why your staff has no RESPECT FOR YOU! I was getting quite irritated and my patience were THIN with this CHICK!
So I came into work no locker? I looked around for a locker and found a locker with some Krusty nasty shoes in and a few pieces of paper in I thought hmm this should be okay for tonight. I said a Hail Mary hoping this would not be someones locker and walked out.

I was sized up and down ignored barked at by a bunch of jaded people, I was thinking to myself as my Resume in management taught me from very prominent companies

What has bruised this crew sooo bad that they are not even civil towards each other or anyone else. I was having a WTF? MOMENT! and what did I get myself into and going over my base pay in my head and was it worth what I had signed up for CRIPES!!! I walked in a lions den and I was fresh meat to character assassinate hmmm yea lol I reminded myself be nice no one liners hee hee

So we get threw the beyond belief grip session I couldn't believe my ears, nothing was resolved and the manager received no respect at all whatsoever, In my mind This crew is out of control, they're bitter and disrespectful!

eh we ended and began to set up our row's acid music blaring threw out the arena thee worse music ever and I happen to like all kinds of music. I really had no training considering my back round in Hotels there idea of training was pointing in directions.

A REAL!
bitchy girl made me do everything and take my money and bark orders while she complained about everything and everyone in this company and her habits in serving were
dis-GUSTINGa total slob!
So I am moving as fast as I can go with no training just finding my way around before show time
and I hear this girl scream "WHO TOOK MI LOCKER??"
The SHITTY music stoped a spot light turned to her!!!

I look up I say ME and I start walking up the stairs the spot light is on both of us now

and this girls body is rocking from side to side all flamed I kept walking towards her NOT AFRAID whatsoever gahead "IT'S SO ON!"

I walk straight up to her eye to eye FIERCE of course she was going off spiting screaming bringing up her whole entire life story THE DRUGS ARE TALKING OF COURSE!! I keep a stone face I finally say "ARE YOU DONE YET?" The whole crew is watching the Arena stop ed working all eyes on us! I repeated to the YELLOW TOOTH FOUL SMOKE BREATH LUNATIC! "ARE YOU DONE?"

First:
of all BACK UP AND I'M NOT KIDDING I LOOKED HER DEAD IN HER EYES NOSE TO NOSE! I wiped her FOUL SPIT OFF MY FACE WITH MY SLEEVE! CLINCHING MY KICK BOXING FIST TO MY SIDE! She backed up far with fear in her eye's as if her drugs just wore off which I'm sure they did she just became completely sober.
Second :
Our incompetent manager we have has not called maintenance to cut the old locks
from the revolving door you guys got going around here! AND WHY IS THAT?
You BITTER ASS SERVERS SUCK EVERYONE OF YOU! AND YOUR PERSONALITY'S
ARE MUCH LESS TO BE DESIRED! HOW DO ANY OF YOU MAKE MONEY WITH YOUR
ATTITUDES?? OH PLEASE YOUR NOT THE BEST SERVERS OUT THERE TRUST ME!!!
YOU ALL NEED CHARM SCHOOL!!! AS I YELLED BACK AT HER!!! I heard a huge
moan in the Arena WOE!
I apologize it was an honest mistake I am sorry. She seemed happy I pointed out the manager was not doing her job and said quietly it's okay I'm sorry too I just got in a fight with my boyfriend I am sorry I yelled and we started walking towards the bathrooms and
she filled me in on everything that has been going on in the Lame ass Diner Show!
It was everything I thought it was my moral and business compass told me inside!

I resigned I realized this crew was bruised so bad there was nothing I could do to fix it
no matter how much money they paid me. The night it closed and servers got there pink slips
I was working for a friend and my phone was blowing up from all of the servers that were now unemployed and needed a hook up quick there rent was due.

You have to understand the old before you can understand the new.


Yours Truly

Waitstress

Know it all Co-workers

First of all I am by no means a drama queen and run from it. I worked in Beauty Salons for years I have a license and did hair and somehow at times in that business when I came across an impossible client I could not please after many hours on consultation and eating my time up so I could not take anymore bookings and make money which is why we work in life to get paid for our service. I realized this person needed a SHRINK and not a Hairdresser. I had in visioned in my mind opening the front door of the Salon turning the chair towards the door pumping the chair up as high as it can go their Hydraulic an using my ejection lever on my chair right side to be exact and eject the client right outta my chair threw the door in mid air like a cartoon and my words were you have been DENIED and I HAD IT WITH YOU LADY! YOUR TIME IS UP! My service and my knowledge is expensive time is money.Fix your own hair and lie to someone else what you shampoo it with. From the frizz you were rocken it is clear your shampoo was a carpet shampoo and it had the PH of a toilet soap and you wanted me to put a chemical on it ahuh sure whatever . I left hairdressing for awhile being insulted with no pay was wearing me thin and the drama and gossip. I went back into Hospitality.


Every now and then you have to throw down I do what I gotta do and sometimes DUTY CALLS! I have experienced it in Salons and in Hospitality when working with people. Were human.

There is always one co-worker at work that embraces gossip Never watches there tables eats all the time at work smokes alot, sucks up to the manager and keeps tabs on everyone else like a reporter A SNITCH. Wandering around on a phone slacker on side work. A real treat for the cooks, Chefs. Orders are always wrong but blames the kitchen. This particular server went out of her way to dig me in front of other servers and took opportunity's while working to get some zingers in I guess that made her feel taller. My experience working in Hotels and Resorts showed I work neat I am not a SLOB. I ignored her eh whatever do your thing as long as the cooks&chefs were happy with me and the hostess kept me sat she did not get to me. This was just one dingbat at this place there were about four of them that would tag team me. The other dingbats were off that day.


I happen to be prepping one day for burgers tops we were slow, lettuce, tomato, one raw onion ring and DINGBAT REPORTER comes up to me and starts prepping giving me her Resume and what ever else I tuned her out I noticed she went back to the cooler get more lettuce she comes back. I reach for it and it is not washed, umm errr did you wash this "oh we don't do it here like that" O RLY I said you need to wash the heads of lettuce with salt water it removes the dirt and loosens it.

She went on and on how you don't have to do that. I said okay so when the OWNERS come in and they WILL with their friends and they order a burger and there teeth grind from DIRT I am coming for you I walked away. She was training a newbie one night, newbie was making iced tea. I watch her open a bag of tea for our tea urns pour it into the filter put the paper filter in the basket filter and hit the button. This Restaurant did not have sugar boxed lines, so you had to manually add the sugar not too difficult right? Take a pitcher and measure the sugar add hot water DISSOLVE the sugar stir wait until the tea has stop its brew cycle then add sugar and stir for a while,not hard right? WAHLA you have brewed sweet iced tea!

I see newbie did not dissolve the sugar she added it while the tea was brewing and never stirred it. I say nothing, fighting is alot of energy with dingbat and lately I was reserving my strength she really was not worth my time. It was not newbies fault. So one day newbie was on her own training complete and repeated the process in front of a owner, The owner said who taught you that oh DINGBAT did so I watch and dingbat comes in the kitchen and the OWNER snaps and goes off on dingbat I am behind the owner smiling.

I know the owner this was my third Restaurant working for him. What is the point of all this? You taught newbie wrong!! admit it! Your wrong! and now my guests have to wait and suffer with no refills of tea because your an imbecile, and refuse correction. So do I expose you and TELL my guests about you oh it's dingbats fault we have no tea right now! How does that look and what kind of place are they dinning in?

No I make my own tea and bring it to my guests. You give people enough rope and they hang themselves. So when you hear anyone can serve and wait tables it is so easy even a caveman can do it, Waiting tables is nothing ahuh sure dingbat is the first one crying I'm in the weeds I can't handle it no more tables then counts her tips after the shift is done complaining she made no money??? Waiting tables is time management stop worrying what everyone else is doing and take correction and learn and maybe you could focus on being a more attentive server and walk out with some money.


P!ink has a song: ahuh ahuh Stupid girl! Stupid girl! Maybe if I act like.......lol


Yours truly

Waitstress

I don't know what I've been told! Singing Birthdays everynight GETS VERY OLD!

Are we going there? yea we are, I have never met Waitstaff in this business that enjoyed doing a Birthday ever? First of all we are not SINGERS for most of us that smoke and drink heavy and indulge in narcotics legal and illegal before work at work and after work to make it threw the day or night. It is better to avoid singing at all costs unless it is drinking songs then of course everyone is in tune. Birthdays really put us painfully behind when we have other tables riding. Here are some examples just to name a few, Food is up in the window the cooks are screaming for you and threatening no re-fires. Your sat a new down the Hostess shrugs her shoulders and walks off and says "They wanted to sit there and their in a hurry they have a plane to catch I gave them to you because the other servers yell at me and you don't"( Do I look like the Fluffy Fairy Godmother and I can make that happen?) CRIPS? oh and you haven't been the the restroom yourself in about five hours your kidneys are screaming with a backach and your teeth are flooding and it's hard to walk and talk.......weeds ah yes the weeds....a slammed station in a matter of minutes......

One of your tables is waiting to pay growing green moss on them because they've been waiting for you for so long and still do not have a check. Another table needs refills and every time you walk by you hear a slurping of a straw its a musical sound that Carry's in the Restaurant like a out of tune instrument a horrible vibration going down a servers spine letting everyone know your incompetence and who has that table? They need refills? In your mind your thinking in a minute I CAN hear you Simmahdown NAH Simmah, I have two hands. Your ringing in orders and appetizers again for your Hungry Hungry Hippo table that can't seem to get full! Your other guest gets up finds you and starts pulling on your shirt while your at the computer someone at there table has a Birthday and they want to know if you do anything for it? and I say "oh Happy Birthday" They laugh yea but do you have Birthday Cakes? UMM that would be a big NO! last time I checked we didn't have a Bakery on property, err I smile yes Sir I can make it happen no problem.
hmm I'm thinken oh it's yer Mother's Birthday? and it did not occur to YOU to buy a cake and bring it in for your own Mother? WOW! yer a piece of Artwork! a real friggen PICASSO! He walks off..... I click my no slip Ruby Red nasty crusty fowl Restaurant glitter slipper heels three times and say Auntie Em theres no place like home..... Auntie Em's Response back to me( My inner sweet girl I am) in my head in a Munchkin land voice back to me SINGING You can do it! You can do it! Fa La La La La .......... ahuh sure........ What the FROSTED FLAKES EVER??? be gone Munchkin land voice in my head! I am about to go down people!!! I am on the ACDC Hwy to Hell!!This will be a REAL miracle if I can pull this off tonight without out a meltdown in my section and everyone is outta control with there gimmie gimmie gimmie moores.........and keep a steady flow of decent tips coming in!!! I YELL IN THE STATION!!! I NEED BIRTHDAY SINGERS!!!!!



This Restaurant was very busy and notorious for Birthday's I never got that memo that I would need to sing. Every night of course is a chain reaction with guests if you yell Happy Birthday at one table it had a domino affect it was the wave and every server had a Birthday in their section and quickly you became on the hit list with co-workers and you were abandoned by some and rejected as a leper as if you were up selling Birthday cakes but then there is pressure and Karma and Paranoid servers if they didn't help you they would most likely have FOUR Birthdays in there section Ive seen it too, I'm not kidding....... The excuses for Birthdays was RE-DICKcueliss. I kept score one night it was like Twenty Krazy Birthdays we lost our voices that night we could not yell sing or talk at our tables! Next day everyone brought in a Full Arsenal of Drug Store cough drops and throat sprays you want we had it you need it we got it. I still believe this Restaurant was built on some type of burial ground with everything that I experienced in it! Right out of the movie Jumanji, if fact I hear the drums beat lol.......sort of a Tribal thunder drum beat........lol


Being the prankster server I am and the addiction to laugh to break up the pressure at work in having to be in the zone so much of the time I took opportunity's to play at work. If I saw a Birthday cake that a server had sitting there with a candle in it but waiting for their guests to finish eating. I would help myself indulging and satisfy my sweet tooth craving and take a bite out of it and it caught on with other servers they would walk by and say heyyyy who's cake? heh heh heh I dunno and two bites heh hard to chew fast before the server whos cake it belong too came threw the station you had to bite it chew and swallow fast! It was really annoying to go and get another cake and candle while their looking around aw man who bit into my CAKE??? A long list of colorful words non stop loud profanity and purdy graffic in detail lol I had to leave I could never do it with a straight face I bust up wayyy to easy, We had a Newbie one night I think we bit like eight pieces of cake newbie ended up walking around with the cake on her cocktail tray so no one would bite into it servers with sharks fins roaming around waiting for her to set that tray down Jaws music and all ROFLMAO........

I see them out of my puriffs looking for me waiting in front of the station grinning shaking their head pointing their two fingers in their eyes and then pointing them back at me! as if to say "I got choo I know it was you" I look up and smile while I'm a table taking and order smiling back as if to say Mmwah? Me? as I point to my chest? I come back in the station arms full of plates as the victim server standing there follows me around "lemmie me smell your breath I know it was you! You ate my cake open yer mouth?" Payback time! I had my fair share of it right back at me. lol
So not only was it ruff to follow threw with celebrating your guests Birthday and finding the time and having to deal with guests glares! Did you forget? Now is a good time! as they wink and clear their throats. A server game is played, CakeBate! eh it broke up tension at work and in this Restaurant we needed to laugh and keep moving server games keep a server sane. I am tons of fun when I serve. I can not control guests and how they behave in Restaurants but I can control how I react and I choose laughter and there is never enough of it not on my watch..........

Bob Seger The Legend sang in his song Traveling Man "And those are the Memories that make me a Wealthy Soul"

Yours Truly

Waitstress

A walk-out that did not work out! Nice try thou E FOR EFFORT!

I go into work another day in the trenches in this particular Restaurant I just happen to be working in a lot of games. Games with co -workers, games with the public you name it. You really have to be on guard at all times anything and everything could happen in this place. It is a extremely busy place I have never seen anything like it until I walked in. In fact I turned down the job told the manager I would think about it I was not into hopping tables anymore I liked my cushy Banquet Captain jobs a totally different line of work in Hospitality. I just did not want the one on one with guests again and dance for tips do cartwheels, Banquets I get paid whether you like me or not! I have what it takes to wait tables my whole thing is show me the money or you've lost me zzzzzz in every interview they tell me it is a busy Restaurant ahuh sure lie to me I like it.


anyway I take the job because a friend of mine(server) was not going to take no for an answer ok ok get off my back. I was working there for a few years but my Resume was long before I hit this place. There seemed to be the type of shady guests that dine here that think it's okay to leave and not pay and they will go to extreme measures to do it unbelievable to me that I have to babysit people and watch them eat on top of everything else my job requires. The Restaurant opens at four we always had a wait out the door it did not matter what day it was the food was great and our repeat revenue was over twenty five percent. There was entertainment on the weekends lol that is another blog.....


So I'm driving into work music blaring listening to Guns N' Roses Welcome to the Jungle Baby! and Grand Master Flash " It's like a jungle sometimes makes wonder how I keep from going under heh heh heh heh" "Don't push me cuz I'm close to the edge I'm tryen not to lose my head" and when I leave work from a full night of hell battling Satan and his Hordes, my song changes and now its Lenny Kravitz "Fly Away" "I want to get away" "I want to fly away" yeeah yeeah yeeah blaring when I leave the parking lot tis true.....lol


Another day in the life cycle of this wonderful world of Hospitality. My section is towards the back and the early birds start coming in I had this two top of Lady's that really were not talking very quite nice polite to me but suspicious to me and my waitress antenna's were up hmm yea there up to something for sure I give my co-workers a heads up yo I think I have Dashers ok we gotcha so if I have to make a run for it they would watch my section vice versa.

The owner frowned on walk-outs there whole philosophy is it is your job to take care of your guests and be attentive and if you were not you were careless. So I walk into the kitchen for something come back out and now there is one lady sitting instead of two ahuh it's on! I'm watching her movements so I walk towards the front door of the Hotel and I see her run threw the lobby threw another smaller Restaurant we had on property and rip off her Lobster bib I motion to a cook I'm gone after her outside by now inside news it spread threw the Restaurant I'm outside and it is crazy busy during our rush. I go outside and hide watch what car they get into I come out from hiding and walk around her license plate she is inside trying to start the car fast but it is a rental and her windshield wipers are going and she is nervous as hell!

There yelling at each other inside the car! while I'm in back of the car writing down her license plate numbers it is illegal to dine and dash in my state. She gets outs and starts screaming at me I just looked at her guilt ridden face you are a liar mam pay or go to jail it's that simple my check is open the hostess said you never paid her up at the front and you know you never paid me.

I am in good health I am personally at runner and hit weights, so as she is moving towards me spitting and waving her hands screaming at me calling me everything under the sun each name that came out in my mind I was laughing umm you don't even know anything about me to use such LINGO DUMBO! I'm thinking touch me and I will touch you back :) lol gahead


I looked up on the curb and I see one of my managers standing there motioning her hands down like be cool my guest now turns her attention on the manager who she now See's standing there and begins to argue with her it did not do any good she said mam I need you to come in and pay or your going to jail I turned and looked to my corner and some of my co-workers were standing behind the fence smiling and giving me a thumbs up on there smoke breaks lol a few of my beloved cooks and bussers taking the trash out said other things LMAO ah funny I have fans! lol

The police were pulling in the parking lot by that time. My guests came in and paid yelling putting up a fight her line was" I paid already but I guess I'll pay again" ahuh sure whatever Lady!
She used every excuse you could think of seriously she began to draw a crowd from other guests that were paying and leaving and happy to be on vacation and not buying into her ridiculous scheme that she knows she is not getting away with just buying more time at the register getting louder, and louder as if that is going to prove herself she is innocent from eating and running out on her check! So when your on camera running threw the Hotel pulling your Lobster bib off, ahuh and that wasn't you right? lol whatever Lady! You can't play me I was born to do this I am on top of my game when I serve.

If looks could kill I stood there right by the hostess and the manager while the two cowards crawled back in and paid. I refuse to take a write up for you! and be disciplined I don't pay for anyones FOOD! Average guest check at early bird time is $200.00 Going to jail on your vacation is your choice. Once again you got the wrong girl! I think my choice word is ownage. LMAO
I still hear Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses when I think of that place like a tape in my head. "You know where you are Baby?" " You in the Jungle" and I cringe seriously.... Like....I'm not kidding.....


Yours truly
Waitstress

Part two: A Bartenders Joke that backfired

I met with the owner and the mod we decide my training was up I aced the menu test and made my money for the week I played the games well purdy much a master at them on the floor skarken tables being a door whore. I know the whole new girl were gonna play you type deal. Well it didn't work for some servers they were angry lol so they got back at me by checking my side work out which makes me laugh because they couldn't find anything to make me redo over lol hilarious you keep looking though tare my section apart be neurotic if that makes you feel better the whole lead server power trip lol you can't leave until you roll silverware Oh no silverware! whatever will I do? lol I can find a dishwasher send it threw twice and roll nice try though so if you can just sign I'll be on my way and you might want to check your HORMONES because you are a very BITTER server! your face shows it. Start taken HORMONE shots instead of smoken weed you'll smell better and no crash. lol


The beloved cooks were a blast to work with alot of smack talking threw the window they had me laughing so hard I barely got my tray over my head lol a few where coming to the new location so that made it nice the abuse threw the window will continue oh yeeeah lol


There was still a small hum threw the Restaurant and what I had said to lover boy bartender everyone was still talking about it still and the regular guests. The other bartenders enjoyed it and could not stop laughing about it he had it coming. I said well I don't know about all that but if you want my attention that is the wrong way to get it and don't ever interfere with my income. You got the wrong girl.

I came into work as usual lover boy was on duty I had two days left in this place. I ordered a pitcher of beer for my guests and he would not get it his response was "I don't have any pitchers there in the dish room you have to go get one". "That is how we do it around here" His bar was dead he had three people. I had the whole patio I was starting to fill up another server game with the hostess slam her and then watch her run around and don't help me. People people people you don't even know me this is when I do my finest work and I'm on the top of my game lol SLAM me all you want and watch me run around hmm yea I would MOVE out of my way if I were you there is no mercy sit back and maybe you might just learn somthing my max level is 14 tables at one time so GO BIG OR GO HOME! As far as lover boys response to me I thought
hmm O rly yea I guess your legs are to tired from carrying around that gigantic fish bowl of a stomach you have and all that sloshing around would make you tired and walking to the dishroom to get a pitcher is to muilt tasked for you. One would have to ask yourself a question can you see your shoes?

I looked at him and grinned like the Grinch who stold Christmas or a Cheshire cat laughing on the inside ROUND II DING DING people this guy wants more he is begging for it OK IT'S ON! DIS TIME A REAL SPANK LOL
So I go to the dish room get my pitcher walk behind his bar and get my pitcher of beer he comes around the corner and started yelling like a two year old "YOU CAN'T COME BACK HERE" I ignored him laughing trying not to spill my pitchers out to the patio I go.

Every time I had an order I went behind the bar and made my own drinks I was not going to let my guests suffer or my TIPS!!! because he had a bragging problem that backfired he was infuriated he went to the mod. The mod didn't want hear it they have bigger fish to fry in the Restaurant lol so I again made my money had a blast and at the end of my shift I dropped a bomb I refused to tip him out and I had a lot of alcohol people I know how to up sell I've been in the business a long time. He was so mad it was funny to watch lol I checked out with the power trip bitter lead server and over tipped my busser and left lol

Last day of lover boys games same thing a repeat I up sell and made my own drinks all night I was out early because now the server and hostess games had changed now they want to cut me off the floor first which is not surprising. I am making too much money and having way to much fun. A week had passed and I had call party's already it is so funny to watch grown people behave I am a light hearted person in this business you gotta go with the flow and relax or you can blow a tip.

I was outside talken away with my guests and finishing my side work and standing at one of my tables and I feel a cold evil sinister breeze behind me and I look in my pr ifs and its lover boy so now I make him stand there THAT'S RIGHT FOOL time for you to stand at attention. He was invisible to me I kept talking away and he was sweating knowing he can't leave his bar and he was outside on the patio where he should not be he did this like three times. I came in from the patio and he try ed to be sticky sweet and mention I forgot to tip out yesterday and followed me all around the Restaurant trying to discipline me lol hmmm I said no I didn't forget you sir YOU refused to make my drinks yesterday starting with go FETCH A PITCHER! hmm that is your job to keep your bar stocked! I don't play FETCH!
SO NO TIPS FOR JWHO! lol he said you can't do that and kept going and going I turned around OMG! are you still talking? what a whiner I want my money lol yeah and I want my money too! but YOU refusing to make my drinks ANIT going to stop me from making MY MONEY! I will be my own bartender and I am better lol

He went to the mod and complained the mod comes up to me what's going on ? I said no where in your rules does it say I have to tip out the bartender, his conduct is out of line with me and has been sense day one and I refuse to tip him out end of I HAVE TO TIP HIM OUT CONVERSATION! BUH BYE! He said ok sorry Lover boy you should have shown her some respect and made some type of effort to make her drinks you screwed yourself because she up sells. Ok people kiss and make up everyone play nice I got a Restaurant to run.



The moral he lost forty dollars from me oh poor baby. No one controls my income not even you lover boy Lmao


yours truly

Waitstress

A Bartenders Joke that back fired aw poor baby

Have you ever had a bartender rub you the wrong way like sand paper a total freak from the bar scene in the first Star Wars movie and now your nightmare came true and it is what you saw it's deja vu and now you have to work with this creature. I have and this is how it went down.

hmm yeeeah so I took a job and go into work I was hired originally to train and learn the ropes at one of there very first Restaurants and learn the system. The owners were ready to expand and open more locations so my time was brief, so that meant for me straight up play time after all I was not staying here just putting my time in. Learning the menu was read and recite to me and a new computer was pushing idiot buttons for me nothing to difficult, messing with the regulars guests I was the new girl.


As I have said in other blogs I am a person that has fun at work when I wait tables so this was a new play ground for me. I met everyone all the server clicks and the cooks there bark is always worse than there bite ring in what you need modify always and take it out in a timely manor and their cool.

I met the bartenders and this one happened to be a complete freak right out of Halloween.
He always went out of his way to say very off colored things to me shock and aw. In a very loud tone so he could be heard by everyone told everyone I couldn't keep my hands to myself I was after him. ahuh sure
I let it all go He did anything to get my attention and that still did not work so then he got straight up nasty. He took his sweet time making my drinks he liked to make me stand there or he never got my tickets at all I new they were crumpled up and in the garbage or in his pockets umm this is not my first day in a Restaurant wow! you are so clever
my guests are parched and looking around for me! errrrrr my money!

I remained calm heh heh thinking you really don't know me and the power of this blond head of hair, I'm not the bimbo you saw in a magazine as if we are all cookie cutter paper dolls, umm you got the wrong girl old man I will drop kick you so fast you wont know what hit you with my one liners. A bit of a bio for you...........
Star Wars freak..... One of my very first Jobs in Hotels was a cocktail server I know the drill I can balance a Martini lay a cocktail straw across the with of the glass and walk do the math it works you'll never spill I have seen a bar before and from the looks of yours it was not all that sophisticated. *yawn*


So a week had passed and it was time to take the trash out and slam dunk this guy. All his slimy jabba the hut comments that he was enjoying he got away with in front of the whole restaurant and now I was up to bat I've always liked baseball I hope this bartender wore a cup because he's about to go down for the count IT IS SO ON!

It was Friday night we were starting to fill up a nice full bar people were coming in. I ordered a Heineken Beer bottle I walk to go pick it up at the end of the bar the service area he slowly takes the top of like were in slow motion or something puts it on the bar with a grimace face right out of the movie The Shining he looked just like Jack Nickolson I new he was up to something right then and there he turns around and looks at everyone at the bar which are all men and a few women turns back to me he says "DO YOU WANT A CHERRY IN YOUR HINNIE"? The whole bar was laughing and looking at me and some were looking down some of them had expressions on there face like oh no he went to far.
I stood there
I looked at him I look at everyone at the bar laughing I reach for my bottle and I say
"IF I WANTED A JOKE I WOULD HAVE FOLLOWED YOU INTO THE BATHROOM"
I closed my fist raised it and said with a loud voice OOOOOOOOHH I KNOW THAT'S GOTTA HURT?? did my victory pump dance LMAO I heard someone say eeeooouch

Everyone heard it the whole bar erupted with loud intense roaring laughter for about twenty minutes everyone just lost it and fell about the place he was the only one not laughing his face was angry and that made the customers laugh even harder and now the tables were turned they had flip the script and began to tease him about the whole bar following him into the bathroom
and play show and tell, by that time people were literary crying with laughter saying stop it !stop it! stop it! I had long walked off so I never heard the jokes that followed some younger bubbly servers found me in my quite place alone outside and were spilling there guts telling me what was said they were laughing so hard they couldn't even get it out to tell me it was cute like two little chipmunks. I am glad I could help put an end to his remarks servers had taken his crap for wayyyy to long. The m.o.d never said a word he was happy his quests were spending money and having a good time.

I have no regrets. A woman has to do what a woman has to do. He hated me after this and it made me laugh long and hard every time I saw him. I still laugh to this day lol I'm laughing as I type this. hahahahahah
The battle is not over I had two more days in this place.
To be continued...............


Yours truly
Waitstress